The Summer Everything Changed Ж
by Erylle
Summary: COMPLETE! OOC. RxM. Ruka's the underdog and Natsume's the center of attention. It would be a simplistic friendship had they not both set their heart for the same girl. For Mikan, it could mean the beginning of her first true love...if she can face her own insecurities.
1. Hotaru's Deception

**The Summer Everything Changed**

○•○

_Change brings opportunity - Nido Quebein_

* * *

The last days of classes were always the most tedious and pointless time spent for term review.

Nonoko yawned beside me. Obviously thinking of other plans in her mind, instead of contemplating the Law of Conservation of Mass.

"Now turn to page four of your exams…"

While Narumi drawled on, I quietly ripped a small sheet of paper from my notebook and proceeded writing my secret message. I took a furtive glance at Hotaru, who was sitting a seat to my right side, and began scribbling away. Pleased with my hand-writing, as I took great care, I slipped the sheet to her.

Well, more like threw forcefully.

"Sorry." I whispered. But when I looked at her, she did not appear to have noticed the sheet that was sitting idly on her desk. I stared at her for a couple seconds longer, convinced that she was either intentionally ignoring me, or that she really had _not_ seen the white sheet fly over.

When I was about to turn around and continue my unfinished doodle, I saw Hotaru look down dispassionately and unfold my paper. She imperiously lifted her pen and scratched her response under it. Messages back and forth made class worthwhile; I was glad for any distraction that would point me away from my science mark. Once Hotaru carefully toss the letter on my brown desk, I opened the message with a sense of trepidation. Anything could have been written down on that sheet. Lottery numbers...maybe it was a cheque...dreaming of endless possibilities were the best.

Instead, it turned out like this:

_Me: Hey, Hotaru! Are you coming to my haus for summer?_

_Hotaru: You spelled "house" wrong, and also, capitalize the 's' in 'Summer'. _

_No._

My smile quickly faded and whipped my head towards her. _What do you mean 'no'? _Her rejection was like a slap in the face. I had the urge to impulsively react, like i walways do, tell her how hard I worked for this Summer, how long I stayed up imagining the endless possibilities and the memories we would make, for it all to crumble in one word. One, two-lettered word that would end my Summer before it was even started. So when her blunt rejection came forth, I was too stupefied to react immediately. Besides, I was in class and had already been reprimanded when I entered, chewing loudly on gum. I had no urge to replicate another cause for Narumi-sensei to scold me.

This cannot be happening, I told myself silently, but it was. I could almost feel the dumb expression on my face, the way my eyes glaze over when I was totally out of it.

"Mikan." Narumi's voice was strong and clear "I know it's the last class and so on, but please, do try to pay attention. That goes for you to Nonoko."

Nonoko abruptly stopped talking to Anna, and together we both blushed a light shade of pink.

"Sorry." We mumbled together.

While Nonoko looked down at her desk in shame, I presumptuously looked around the room. I saw Anna fanning herself with a flimsy brochure, Sumire writing attentively in her note book and… I saw him.

His eyes were the same penetrating garnet shade that always entranced me, though I dared never to say so.

Our gazes, each on the opposite side of the room. He had that playful, boyish smirk perpetually on his face. His eyes seemed to be saying something insulting, and I only tacitly returned the favour.

He was mocking me. He was still insultingly me with those cruel features. I pulled down my eye and stuck out my tongue at him, making sure Narumi's back was to the blackboard. Natsume's face twisted in pure anger and he shot a glare at me from across the room. He didn't scare me anymore. Natsume was a big mean bully. There were no other words for it, there isn't any sugar coated words to lessen who he was: he was ruthless and uncaring. The fact that people admired him for his stoic qualities always amazed me. He didn't have any power on the new girl now. Once he did, but that was almost months ago, and more importantly, two personalities ago.

The only person who did have any hold on me was tearing my heart away. I was close to tears and wondered if she was too, I looked at her from the side of my shoulder and saw that her face was as impassive as ever.

The clock kept ticking and when the bell finally rung, I could hear all the murmur of joy in the classroom. I slung my bag over my shoulder and wandered over to Hotaru, who was silently putting away her pencil case.

"Hotaru!" I didn't even try to hide the edge in my voice, "I can't believe you! We've always told each other everything, and here I was excited we'd spend the Summer together and…and… you just say no? Oh what am I going to tell Ji-chan? He already prepared the guest bedroom, and I even made a list of all the things we could do!" Great, I was already whining like a brat who wanted everything to go her way, without any sort of bump in the road. However, it was true. Ji-chan called last night and blundered on like the abstract old man he was. How long would Hotaru be staying? Did she like Onigiri with a lot of rice? Were we to sleep in the living room or would we prefer my cramped room?

It was going to be painful to break the news to him. From here, I could already picture his innocuous smile, his eyebrows lifted giving him a surprised look, and me telling him that Hotaru…

"I can't" She answered tersely. No emotion seemed to seeping forth. Nothing. Of course, I didn't expect anything more.

"Why?" I was whimpering. Like a child. Oh great.

"I'm taking extra courses over the Summer. Here, at Gakuen Alice." She must've seen the confusion in my eyes because she droned on. "I want to take more courses in our second year and the only way to do that is by getting rid of the pre-requisites first. Starting with English of course."

I was dumbfounded but quickly got hold on my bearings.

"I- then – what am I supposed to do?" I had never contemplated a Summer without Hotaru. All the things I planned for us to do were compiled in a list; this list required a second person. For example, who was going to ride on a two-seated bike with me when it was just me? Riding a two-seated bike with only one person was….well, it was possible, but it wouldn't be the same without that extra bit of company in the back seat. Actually, Hotaru would most likely take the front seat because she knew I wasn't exactly the most coordinated person.

She shrugged nonchalantly "I don't know. Be by yourself I guess." Then she looked at the clock. "I need to attend the conference in thirty minutes. Bye." And with that she was already strolling down the hallway like nothing happened. As if she didn't have a best-friend whose mind was only grasping the shocking truth.

Now some would call Hotaru inconsiderate, mean or anti-social, but I knew expression and socializing weren't her strong points. Just like academic concepts were never completely easy for me to understand.

In Hotaru's crazy language, 'Bye' was equivalent to 'I'll miss you. I hope you have a good Summer unlike I will.' Or maybe that was just my crazy overactive imagination.

Hotaru had abandoned me. My summer was already over before it started.

I watched her slim figure saunter down the hallway. In about a minute, she was swallowed into the crowd and I glimpsed her brown text book under her right arm before she rounded a corner.

I was halfway down the hallway contemplating my sad, tragic summer when Ruka accosted me from nowhere.

"Hey, Mikan" he said tentatively.

That was the thing with Ruka, he said my name like it was a foreign word: opening his mouth widely to form the sounds, only for my name to come out in a whisper. My name was like a new word to him, he said it slowly and too forced, like he was afraid he wasn't pronouncing it properly.

He was a nice boy; just completely nice, normal and sane. I wish I could say the same for all the boys here in Gakuen Alice.

I knew Ruka liked me. I wasn't that much of an idiot. I just knew by the way he would catch me after class asking the silliest questions like "Do you like 0.5 mm lead or 0.7 mm lead?"

Hotaru once whispered this knowledge into my ear and a blushed a scarlet red. No way could anyone like Ruka like me. Let alone like _like_ me.

But the more sillier the questions got, and the more awkward moments that I caught him staring at me, did I start to believe Hotaru's suggestion. Afterall, Hotaru was never wrong.

I just couldn't believe the Prince of Gakuen Alice was talking to _me_. Me, as in, Mikan Sakura, your average teenage girl with romantic, unrealistic hopes.

I wasn't in the mood to make small talk at all, even if it was Ruka himself. I was devastated about Hotaru's sudden rejection, and if Ruka didn't go away fast, I was afraid I would bury my head into his shoulder and cry.

"So, uh, you doing anything this Summer?" When I didn't reply, he seemed nervous. "My mom, y-you know, she told me I could invite a couple of friends over to spend it in the beach house, like, near an actual beach." I waited. "In France."

Whoa. France? Foreign country? Not in Japan? Cool. The country of croissants, berets, and escargot. Megacool.

I was just about to accept happily when a thought ran across my mind.I lowered my gaze.

I couldn't just leave Ji-chan all by himself. Alone, while I was off frolicking in the meadows of France. Did they even have meadows in Paris? Probably.

It didn't seem fair to him, the man who solemnly raised me, only to be repaid by my inconsiderate actions. Leaving him never crossed my mind even if it were for this wicked opportunity.

"It's really nice of you Ruka…but-"

"You don't have to respond now." He said hurriedly. " It's just, I wanted to tell you that's all. I invited a lot of people you know…Nonoko, Sumire, Anna, Yuu" He gulped. "Natsume."

At first, I got a little angry. _No_, I was not going. I do not want to go, now leave me alone and let my poor soul rest. But all of a sudden, his face lit up and his blue eyes were shining with possibility. He had a confident smile that took up his whole face. He was so confident, I kind of thought it was cute.

"You know what?" I just couldn't reject him. Not right now anyway. "I'll – I'll talk to my Ji-chan."

He smiled sheepishly. I could tell he was going to talk more, maybe even try getting into a real conversation with me about something mundane. He surprised me again when he stuffed his hands in his pockets and said a little too brightly, "Cool."

And with that, he was off. Like Hotaru, he was swallowed by the crowed of kids and the last thing I saw of him was the tuft of sandy blonde hair on his head. Even more so, I could almost feel his elation, his sense of accomplishment and happiness from across the room.

It made me feel guilty. I had made no definite answer and yet, he was so…happy. Everyone deserves to be happy.

And so, my journey, my dreams and my summer began.

* * *

**A/N:** Any sort of feedback would be much appreciated, and thank you for reading.

God, this chapter was a doozy to write, I had to endure furious editing with a very critical eye. I guess the first chapter to your first fanfic is always the hardest to finish.


	2. Mikan's Flight to Independence

**The Summer Everything Changed**

○•○

* * *

I looked at the phone that sat on my desk. Gakuen Alice was a modern school, with new electronic gadgets stuffed in our classrooms in order to '_engage'_ our learning, as said by Narumi-Sensei. Then why, why were the phones so _old-looking?_ Surely if we could afford state of the art gyms complete with a robot, what was a 1950's looking phone doing in my room, lying on my desk?

I was plopped on my bed, my head resting against my left arm, and I gazed at the swirling cord attached to a black telephone. The numbers, retro-looking, were etched into the phone.

In my mind, I was debating whether to pick it up or…Screw it, I will.

The first person I was intentionally going to call was Ji-chan; we'd trade polite questions, I would laugh and all would be well. Then I would ask him _the_ question, about summer, what it meant to me and what it would mean to him. I didn't know where the conversation would head to; tears maybe? Laughter? I could already picture Ji-chan in my head _"Hah. Don't worry, Mikan, I heard France had great food", _smiling goofily with a toothy grin.

So I surprised myself when I my fingers, on their own accord, were dialing Hotaru's number instead of Ji-chan's.

I heard the familiar shrill ring of the phone as it tried to make its connection. On the fourth ring, and still with no answer, I was reaching over to put the phone down when I heard a monotonous voice spring forth on the other line.

"Hotaru Imai." Short and curt. That was a voice that I could recognize anywhere, whether I was in a room full of cacophony, or even if I was deaf. Paradoxical. I know, but I just knew that even if I lost my hearing, God forbid, in some tragic accident, the only voice I would distinctly remember would be Hotaru's.

Though her voice was calm and fluent, I couldn't help but get nervous. Hotaru had that effect on people, whether she was in person or over the phone. There was something about her that exudes authority and the _don't-talk-to-me_ persona. I was the only one who could truly see under her mask, a façade of coolness and calmness. It was only I that believed that there was emotion somewhere behind that hard rock she called a soul.

What should I say to her? Should I yell? Certainly, I was angry…I was mad yes, but not at Hotaru, just at the fact that I would no longer have the ultimate Summer with her. The Summer of my dreams. It was only then that I could really decipher my feelings, sure I was mad, but even more so, I was sad. Rejected. Melancholy. Lonely. Betrayed.

"This number is for business calls only." A cold voice resonated within my ear. I was grateful because it snapped me out of my reverie, and I was finally able to think straight.

"Hey." And suddenly I was embarrassed about my laconic comment. What did girls say when they felt blue? They would cry instead I suppose, or try to express their feelings, but they did not just say 'Hey'.

There was an awkward pause in between before I heard another sound.

"Mikan."

"Hotaru, listen." Skipping preamble I decided to get to the point. "It's not fair. Not fair at all. Do you expect me t-, to just respect your actions? I've been planning this summer…all year…Ji-chan, he'll be crushed I- I really didn't expect this from you, I thought you understood. In fact, you didn't even tell me! Not one word!" It was true. Hotaru had played along the past year, listening to my frequent rambles about the upcoming summer, nodding her head as if she were participating but all along…all along…she was betraying, going behind my back and setting secret meetings with the Guidance Counselor to fit a course into Summer School. The fact that Hotaru rejected me hurt, but not as much as the fact that she hid this whole scheme from me. She hid it from me the entire year. Not one word.

"I didn't know." Silence. "I thought I had all my courses planned out and then I realized I was missing a required course. The only option now is…you know the option. And I've taken it."

That was it, no apologies, nothing sentimental, just plain old _I didn't know_.

"It's fine." But I knew it wasn't.

"Look, Mikan, I really want to tell y-"

"I have to go." I said hurriedly, feigning a vexed voice. "Call you later?"

I didn't wait for a response after setting the phone down. That was it. Settled. Over. Hotaru would not come this Summer. Our endless nights would not happen. I would not get to ride on a two-seated bicycle and I would definitely, never, have fun. Summer wasn't going to happen at all.

And with a final thought here and there, I found myself falling into the embrace of sleep. The smell of clean bed sheets and the fresh air entering from the widow relaxed my troubled mind. I wondered if this is how it felt like to be a baby: to sleep without any concerns with the feeling of nature comforting you into believing everything would be fine if you just let your mind drift away for just a few moments…

III

I woke up with disheveled hair and a surprisingly strong headache. After searching my whole room for some Tylenol with no success, I reached in the back pocket of my purse for some mint-flavored gum. It didn't take away the sharp drumming pain in my mind, but its prominent taste distracted it well enough for me to think.

_Think._ Today was June 28. Today was…Oh my God, today was June 28.

June 28 was the day everyone ceremoniously emptied their rooms and packed their bags. Everyone who was leaving for Summer that is. Yes it _felt_ like a June 28: I could hear heavy scuffling outside my door, names being called out, and doors being slammed shut. Everyone wanted out of here, and I was with them.

The clock said it was 1 pm, and I with my unsteady cognitive abilities, did not allow me to register that information. I felt like it was early in the morning but the clock was arguing with me, stating in clear red numbers that it was clearly afternoon. Welcome to a new day. A fresh start.

Emotionlessly, which was not usually like my peppy self, I completed my personal care process: brushing my teeth, washing my hair and any other… okay no, let's just stop there. Once I was fully clothed in my Gakuen Alice Unifrom which consisted of a black blazer and a red skirt, I looked around my room.

You didn't necessarily have to leave right on June 28th , but usually, everyone would have made plans to go somewhere, to meet with someone, that all you could hear was the noisiness of kids chattering excitedly about their Summer plans.

I was supposed to be one of those kids.

How long ago was that? Almost a day ago, I would have been smiling goofily at myself in the mirror, remembering what Summer was like; what summer would bring. Yet twenty-four hours later, I was a different person and yesterday seemed like ages ago. I had changed considerably. For once, I no longer felt the need to eat with my usual friends, Anna, Nonoko, and Hotaru at the lunch table. I was satisfied with sitting on my bed staring listlessly at my plain white ceiling.

This was not the Summer I imagined spending.

Suddenly, there was a knock on my door. Had I not had exceptionally good hearing, I would not have noticed it. It was a tentative sort of knock, a knock of someone who felt that if they truly allowed themselves knock the way they wanted to, they would break the door. And so, the soft _thump, thump, thump,_ continued on until I intervened.

"Coming!" I forced a bright smile on my deceiving face. I hope my smile would seem real enough. Hotaru could always see through me.

I opened the door with no reserve.

"Hotaru, I'm so sorr-" I gulped when blue eyes met mine. "Oh, Ruka, it's just you…"

His brow creased for a moment, and then I felt embarrassed for my tactlessness.

"Just me? Well, what else could I be?" The stern look on his face vanished so quickly I found myself doubting if I even saw it at all. "So, have you thought about it yet?"

No. In fact, I'd even forgotten to talk to Ji-chan. _No_, I wanted to say those words out loud but I couldn't; they were wedged in my throat.

Then there was his face, all shining and innocent, his larger smile taking up his whole face and the way he raised his eyebrows as if just looking at you were the most fascinating thing in the world. I started to notice faults in his face, though. I saw the bags under his eyes and the lack of brightness in his blue, blue eyes. His hair was ruffled carelessly. It was obvious he didn't take much time to clean himself up. I suddenly wondered what would cause his change of demeanor. He didn't look like the sparkling Prince, Gakuen Alice worshipped. Don't get me wrong, he was gorgeous, but with the sudden change in his presence, he seemed like a knight-in-not-so-shining-armor. What happened to him?

I was just standing there in my pajamas without a single thread of care. I watched his face wishing I could deny it, insult it, and just make it un-perfect. If that even was a word.

He was lucky though, he was born with a presence, and a face that no one could reject. You wanted to make it smile, make those eyes light up again like neon blue.

So how could I reject?

"I talked to my grandpa. He said he was okay with it." I gulped.

"Really? That's great. I mean, you know, we'd all be so much happier that you came along. You could even invite that girl…what's her name? Oh. Oh right, Hotaru."

"Actually," I gulped again, "she won't be able to make it. Something to do with summer school."

He studied me for a while and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, sounds just like her, I hear she's a genius."

"That's Hotaru all right."

It occurred to me that this was probably the first time in well, ever, that I had a real conversation with Ruka. It wasn't about whether I ate Chinese, Indian or American food that breakfast, it was just two kids talking in the morning, about the most normal of things.

"Well, I'd better be going. I really just wanted to check up on you." He grinned, and for a fleeting second, his eyes shone again.

"Thanks, really Ruka…I needed a wakeup call anyway."

He laughed and then sauntered off but not before saying, "You know, seriously, uh" and suddenly we were back to our awkward conversations, hanging midsentence. "I'm really glad you decided to come. Really glad."

Again, the last thing I saw before he rounded the corner was his trademark blonde hair. And then I was alone again.

III

I'm going to do this, I told myself weakly. Where was my million-dollar confidence when I needed it?

"You've reached the Sakura household!" I could hear a soft voice on the other end of the line. I wanted to cry.

"Hey, Ji-chan, it's me. Mikan." Stage one: complete.

"Mikan! I'm so glad you called, so glad in fact! I made the bed and Hotaru and you will be sleeping in the living room after all." He laughed. "I had to renovate your room and it won't be ready until mid-summer, so endure the living room! Oh, and Clive came by the other day, you know, he said he was excited to see you and Hotaru at the bike-shop. He personally _ordered_ a two-seated bicycle. Did you hear that? He ordered it! He said it came from Italy, or was it France? Germany? Kazakhstan? Mumba-"

"Ji-chan." My voice was trembling. I began to lose the words, the words that flowed into a speech and my mind went blank.

"Mikan, are you still there?"

"Yes. Yes, I am I-"

He blathered on about this and that, and guess who came back? After reciting, probably by memorization, of what he was going to cook for us for the first week of Summer.

"Speaking of which, how's Hotaru? She's so studious, that girl…She'll overload herself one day, I keep telling her that." He was so cheery, you could practically feel his huge grin and his happy-go-lucky laughter.

"That's why I called, about Summer, about Hotaru." There was a pause. Too long, in my opinion. "She's not coming; something about Summer school and taking extra courses. She's not coming to the village Ji-chan. She's staying here at Gakuen Alice."

This time, the silence was not awkward, but more like a silence because both conversationalists had nothing to say; both were speechless.

"_All _Summer? Surely she could come down in July the-"

"She would have told me. Besides were not really as close as we were before." Which was true because lately, Hotaru had been hiding things from me. Staying in Gakuen Alice was one of them. I sighed. "Look, I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I'm packing right now." Which was not true because there were still mounds of clothes scattered recklessly on the floor.

"I – oh, Mikan…" Suddenly, his voice was tired.

"It's nothing. Listen, I got to go." I settled the retro phone back on its base and managed to get a duffel bag out of the depths of my closet. Stage 2: complete. Now all that was left was Stage 3, convincing Ji-chan about a new kind of Summer. In France.

Stage 3. The last stage is the hardest stage to complete right? Like writing a test, you're fine the first few questions but when you attempt the last question, you know you're screwed. That's how I felt. Screwed. I was out of options at this point. I was debating whether to convince Ji-chan in person or call. Being the coward that I was at times like this, I picked up the phone with no hesitation. His number came easily to me, like I was dialing it in my sleep, even his smooth voice was familiar and when he said his usual greeting, I was at lost for words. A couple of seconds rolled by and I had nothing to say. _Hello?_ Was all I heard on the other line. On the third hello, I heard the phone click. Talk about awkward.

Though I was a coward, I was what you would call a 'never-giver-upper' as described by Nonoko. I eventually thought that this feat would be too much, even for someone like me. I could nullify alices, attack a boy whose alice was fire, and study my ass-off for tests, but I could not confront my own grandfather. Mostly, it was because I was afraid of his reaction when he hear the sudden news. His protestations, then his bouts of anger until suddenly I was back to Stage 1 again, pleading for my case.

It was important that Ji-chan accept my choice. It was important for me to go because I was not going to give up my Summer. Summer was as important to me as knowledge was to nerds, I needed it, craved it, and if I didn't get a perfect Summer, well, the effects would last forever. I remember my last disastrous Summer when I was 11-years-old. Of course, Hotaru was by my side the whole way. It was also the Summer Hotaru informed me that she would be going to another school. I didn't catch on quickly. Then she told me she would be going to Gakuen Alice quite frankly. I didn't respond. As if not responding would dissolve the subject and we would go back to our careless selves. Of course, it doesn't work that way.

After several disputes and mainly arguing, it was settled. Hotaru was going to Gakuen Alice when school started, in a few weeks, and I would go to the ever same village school with the same people, same teaches, same parents, same….everything.

By this time, you should all know how it ended. I obviously ended up in Gakuen Alice after an amusing scene of trying to climb over the wall and entering by force. Then Narumi-sensei found me and...

I don't like revisiting old memories, better left in the past Ji-chan would say.

Ji-chan…

I thought about Ruka's offer. Mainly, I thought about Ruka and his confidence with my decision and his faith in me to carry through. So when I finally wedged my duffel bag shut of my clothes (I only wore 7 pairs of Gakuen Alice Uniforms), I was out the door. Usually, Hotaru would be standing at the end of my door with a long list of items that she would call out, and I would faithfully answer her if I had brought it along.

"Pencil case?" She would say in her customary flat voice.

I felt the bulge in the side of my bag. "Got it."

And it would go on like that. The way Hotaru was never bothered by reading an infinitely long list always amazed me. How she could just keep calling out the 56th item and still have a flat look on her face like she had done this every day of her life. Well, more like every summer.

When she finally called out item 76, which was toothpaste, I would grin and run to the end of the hall, waiting for her to catch up.

Now, standing in my doorway and seeing no one, not even a mouse, waiting for me, did I realize how badly I missed my best friend. I missed Hotaru. Hotaru's room was two hallways down from mine. I had only to walk straight and then turn a corner before I was in her hall. Her hall way was the darkest hallway in Gakuen Alice, or so I thought. One of the light bulbs that hung on the sides was forever flickering and then fading into darkness for seconds. It gave the hallway a kind of horror-story setting, with the lights going on and off as if they could not decide their minds.

I brushed passed the familiar velvety carpet with my duffel bag hanging coolly on my right shoulder. I saw the familiar gold lettering of a room number: _438_. Under it, written in smooth cursive was _Imai, Hotaru_. The gold in each letter shone on and off depending on how long the lights decided to stay on.

Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous. I stoically rapped the door 3 long times and waited for an answer. My patience was rewarded when Hotaru opened the door discreetly. She stared at me with her big violet eyes and disheveled hair. I was guessing she recently got out of bed as well, and opened my mouth to say hello or some kind of greeting but I was too overwhelmed with confusing emotions.

"Hey." She said flatly.

Hotaru didn't have many tones. She was a one-tone kind of girl. Like if she was sad, she would say "I am sad." In the flattest voice ever, or if she was excited she would say, "I am excited." Done. No emotion, no facial expressions, just straight out words. Despite this pretense, I could always sense Hotaru's emotions no matter how implicitly she expressed herself. Once, Nonoko and her got into an argument about a petty environmental issue and as Nonoko was about to leave, I called out to her.

"She's mad you know." I told her sternly.

Nonoko flashed a fleeting look at Hotaru, "It was just an argument, Mikan. Look at her, she's not mad; bored even."

But I knew Hotaru better by now, and if you looked closely, her mouth was twisted down giving her a slight change, but a change in expression nonetheless. Weeks later, Nonoko would confide in me that she felt that Hotaru had been undermining her environment project, which would consist of using the School's funds and implementing it into an efficient recycling program. I also learned Hotaru was also fighting for those funds to use for expanding her laboratory. Nonoko told me that the school had made a sudden quick decision to abolish her recycling program in favor of expanding the science department. The principal made a small comment on being influenced by a persuasive student and that Nonoko believed it was Hotaru.

Now, Hotaru's face gleamed of bored coolness, but her eyes told you differently. They were not as calm and serene as usual, but pained and tired. At least, I could decipher that much in her enigma.

"Hey to you too." Maybe I said it a little too brightly, because even to me, my voice sounded strained. Forced.

Hotaru was leaning on the doorway with her slim frame dressed in slacks. She had her bangs pulled back and her reading glasses on. From behind her, I could see her tidy shelves of books and gadgets lying precariously on the floor. From the looks of it, Hotaru was in work mode. I could tell that she had replaced her work-desk with an even bigger, wooded one, and bought a new set of pencils that stood at the edge of her desk. There were scraps of paper overflowing in the garbage, and textbooks open on various pages. I could blindly make out a few titles _Mathematics: Thorough Guide to Quadratics and Functions._

"It's been a while hasn't it?"

I gulped. "Not really, but on our standards, it's been forever." I wanted to let my emotions out and saw no use in preamble, "I'm sorry. You know, for everything, for yelling at you and telling you off like that; just not accepting your decision. I guess I was a little mad you didn't tell me and this was _Summer, _Hotaru, we've always spent it together. And now, we aren't. I tried getting used to that idea but I couldn't, I hope you can forgive me, but I'm still mad at you."

She sighed. A languid sigh and ran a hand through her dark, dark hair. "I know. I didn't expect everything to be great right off the bat. I'm sorry too if that makes anything better." When I didn't say anything, she continued on, "If that's it, I really got to go then. I'll see you later I guess?"

"Yeah, maybe when Summer's over." She nodded. "See you then. Maybe I'll tell you about how much fun I had without you."

She didn't smile but I could tell she was fighting the urge to do so.

"You do that." And silently, I saw the image of a door in front of me and adjusted my duffel bag.


	3. Natsume's Empty Threats

**The Summer Everything Changed**

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* * *

There wasn't much to Natsume Hyuuga, except for the fact that he remained an enigma. He was a puzzle too intricate to solve, so instead of putting in any effort, you might as well quit from the beginning. If there was another thing I understood about Natsume, it's that he and I never got along. Since Day 1 of Gakuen Alice, I was harassed by his glares and pessimistic comments. He always got the last word, and I always believed it. If it weren't for Ruka or Hotaru, I would never have any self-esteem at all. Hotaru, though silent, stood by my side. Ruka did the best he could to control Natsume, but Natsume was ever changing.

I like to think that he and I were like fire and ice. Some arguments I would put out his fire, and others, he would melt my ice. The latter happened more frequently. Behind his nonchalant façade, I knew that like Hotaru, there was some emotion hidden in the depths of his being. It just had to be true. Well, that's what I kept telling myself as I walked down the first floor corridor. I was on my way back from Hotaru's when I felt a dark shadow looming over me.

Now, I usually walk with my head down, probably buried within deep introspect so I am not always physically aware of my surroundings. This shadow eventually collided with my forehead and my balance almost tipped over. Again, not the most coordinated person. The shadow, however, remained as resilient and stock as ever. I was in the middle of mumbling an apology and quickly side stepping when I met the eyes of a demon. Dark and red.

By the time I had registered my scenario, looked around for any source of life to help, he was already on his way toward me like a predator approaching its prey. He took silent quick strides and was towering over my frail height in only a few seconds. I tried to look cool, calm, collected; anything that didn't betray my true feelings. Before he could close the distance between us, I quickly dashed for the nearest open space hoping to discourage his advance.

"Hey!" he said in a smooth voice. "I need to talk to you."

I froze like ice, in the middle of the intersection, I slowly, slowly, turned around until I was facing the same macabre eyes and fear shot up my spine. Suddenly, all my senses were alert; my legs were pumping with adrenaline in case I needed a quick escape.

Do I respond? No… not yet.

"I heard Ruka invited you, unfortunately."

By this time, he was leaning against a faded yellow wall. It reminded me of how Nonoko had protested that the school should have a redo-paint job. Now with my keen eyes, I can definitely see how unappealing the color looked. It cast a yellow-ish light to the corridor and made everything and everyone look twice as scary. I was breathing fast, but I hope he didn't notice and if he did, he wasn't showing it. He had his eyes closed now and his breathing was even. He almost looked peaceful. Not the same scowl perpetually on his face.

"I don't know what's gotten into him. Summer was usually between us and now…he's invited Nonoko, Anna, Yuu, Sumire, and Gakuen Alice's weird girl."

"I have a name." I said indignantly. I was aware of the fact that my fists were balled and my face, stern.

"Oh yes, how could I forget my manners." He laughed sarcastically. "I'll address you whichever way I like, but arguing isn't the reason that I've come; though we know I would win anyways. Like always."

Keep cool, Mikan. Keep cool. Breath. "So why did you come your highness? Shouldn't you be getting special treatments with all the 5-tars?"

"Awh. Are you still a 3-star? Didn't know that…maybe you'll get bumped up next year." Actually, I was a 4-star, but I was listening too intently for what he was going to say next to interject.

"Look, Ruka's making a big mistake, he invited way too many people. Way too many people I don't know and do not like. So if you could kindly decline… that would be great. Well, that's all. I'm gone." He was true to his word and he slid like a snake into the narrow passages of Gakuen Alice.

All I kept thinking was: _or else what?_ What is he capable of doing if I do accept? This is a free country and I can do as I please, just as he can address me how he pleases. Silly Natsume, always making empty threats and acting tough. I still believed that under his rough armor, there was really a kitten.

I was outside Gakuen Alice now, past the gates, and into the streets. I saw the line-up of cars on the side and kids getting in and out of them. Mostly, I saw parents waiting for their kids.

The nearest train station was a thirty minute walk, and once I saw the brightly shining sun, I decided it wasn't a bad deal to venture out in this weather. In fact, I may have said I actually like the sun searing down on my skin. It was very hot and humid, and I could practically smell the sweat hanging in the air. However, after suffering freezing cold months, I was gladly accepting a new change in weather, even though it was a little too hot for my liking.

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Natsume's comment hung over my conscience like a rain cloud. It may just be another harmless threat or an ominous, foreboding warning. Because of this confusion, I didn't know whether to laugh, or to be scared for my life. His smooth voice was intoning in my head, _So if you could kindly decline…that would be great._ Why did he even care so much if other people were going? It's not like Sumire, Nonoko, Yuu, Anna and I were a threat to him…None of us were particularly strong enough to take him on, nor "cool" enough to outvote him in anything. We could have just been trail-along-puppies at his waiting, begging for his approval. After all, that's how everyone acted around Natsume. Everyone, and I mean everyone, were always eager for his approval which consisted of a curt head nod. Once, Sumire was able to get him to smirk, an expression which Sumire talked about all week.

"He was so cute!" She'd repeat for the umpteenth time. Little did she know that she had to make a fool of herself in order to get that reaction. She raised her hand to answer an obvious question: What was the capital of Japan? And she had said "Paris."

Wow. I was at a loss for words.

The whole class put their heads down in shame. I saw Hotaru looking at Sumire with complete disgust, the only expression I remember her actually acting out. I, not being the brightest, shook my head, to which Sumire saw, and glared. Natsume just smirked. His eyes lit up completely, obviously finding the scenario humorous.

Now, I was sitting beside Sumire on the GA Train. The train was to take us to Main Tokyo and from there, we would board our respective buses, or cars to travel on home. It was a full bus, and as expected, there was a majority of Gakuen Alice students milling around restlessly. Groups in the back were chattering noisily about their Summer plans, girls were exchanging gossip and boys were gawking at the new gadgets that recently came out.

"And I was like, you really have nice writing. And Natsume, he looked at me and said something like, 'You too.'" She talked on and on as if everything she said was so amazing.

I nodded listlessly and quickly stuffed my duffel bag on the top compartment and sat down. "Awesome". Ugh. I had to endure an hour and a half of Sumire. God, strike me down now, and make it quick.

Sumire was sitting a little too close to me, considering the seats were wide and could easily fit three people. I felt claustrophobic in my seat near the window, but I was thankful I could choose to look outside if Sumire didn't shut up. I

"So, I heard Ruka invited you too! You're going right? Because it's going to be _the _best? Les mieux!" She was practically screaming into my ear. I wanted to find her annoying and blame all my frustrations out on her, but all I could feel was an uneasy numbness. All my emotions were drained out of me.

"Yeah, but I don't know if I can go yet you know?" I said quietly, not really feeling in the mood to talk to anyone right now.

She nodded and looked at me as if she knew me all too well; like we'd been best friends forever. "I know what you mean, like you and Hotaru." I cringed when I heard the name. "have been doing Summer since ever, right?"

I nodded dispassionately.

It was really a miracle that Sumire had left halfway through the ride, it gave me space to think and be alone in my thoughts. I brooded over the decision of whether or not Ji-chan would approve. I thought about this Summer, and how different it would be from what I was used too. I thought a lot about Hotaru, and even less about Ruka's offer. I wanted Summer, I wanted it to happen. But if it continued this way, would summer even be happening at all? Would I be able to look back at these past months and experience nostalgia, or would I just try to forget the loss…?

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To my surprise, as I got off the steel coated train with the rest of the GA kids, I saw an all too familiar bald man. He was waving furiously like a proud parent, and wore his traditional Japanese clothes. It was easy to single him out. The way he acted, the way he dressed and the manner in which he carried himself was not like that of the majority. People who passed him stared; maybe it was because they found him queer, or because he was just so…Ji-chan-like it was hard not to think of your own grandfather back at home.

He wasn't alone. And as I got closer, there was a lank boy who was towering over him like a grandson, who also stared back at me with curious eyes. He had the same sandy blonde hair and a pale, pale complexion. Ruka. What was he doing here? I felt my eyebrows furrow in confusion. It didn't make sense. I was nearing them now, closing the distance between us with quick steps.

"Mikan! Ji-chan is so glad to see you." He wrapped me around his wrinkled arms and I hugged him back. But all the while, I was thinking _Cut the crap_, what the hell was going on here? "You know Ruka Nogi, or so I've been told."

I nodded weakly. "Yeah."

"Well, he came by and told me _all, _I mean, _all _about his Summer plans and asked if you could be a part of it."

I was following, but I couldn't see what this was heading too.

"Of course, I wasn't so fond of the idea. My only grandchild going to a faraway country…anyways, this young boy has _assured_ me of your safety. Did you know he was related to _the_ Amélie Bilodeaux?" He added emphatically.

No, actually. I did not, but I just nodded my head again, as expected.

Ruka's supposed mother, Mrs. Bilodeaux, ran a successful Hotel that was placed in every continent. It was called _Le Rêve, _and was frequently discussed in magazines. It was not only famous for its ostentatious design, but for its relaxation areas and high-security. The thought of Ruka being related to a successful business woman was not at all shocking. I knew Ruka was rich, with his large allowance each month, nearing close to thousands. I also knew he was half Caucasian by the lightness of his hair. All I knew was that Ruka's mother was Caucasian, and his father had been Japanese, or so rumor has it. It just took me a while longer to piece out his heritage.

"She practically _designed _security." Ji-chan explained. "After a few days of deep, deep thinking and persuasion by this fellow right here, how could I reject?" His face was bright and clear, something I took after. The only difference was that Ji-chan was genuinely happy, where as I faked and pretended it as I pleased, whatever suited the overall mood. "With Hotaru and all…"

"I don't really want to talk about it. Not now, I guess." He seemed to have understood, because he pursued the topic no longer and pushed us toward another train.

"I guess you'll be going with Ruka now. I just came to say a little greeting in person. You'll call once you get to the airport right?"

Wait what? "What the- This is happening so fast! I- I thought I was going home with you and settling this normally and slowly…I can't being to Tokyo Airport already?" I was frantic and looked curiously at Ruka for answers.

"Don't worry, I've prepared your passport and luggage ahead of time." As he said this, he handed me each item like magic, seemingly coming out from nowhere. In one hand, I had my passport taken two years ago, and on the other, I carried my duffel bag and small suitcase.

"You went through my stuff?" The thought of Ji-chan going through my underwear drawer was horrifying.

"Oh get over it. I've raised a daughter, I know things." By daugher, he meant my mother.

I blushed scarlet and looked apologetically at anyone within earshot.

Ruka stood aimlessly beside my grandpa, looking frazzled himself. He hadn't said a word to me at all. It didn't fit his outgoing personality. He looked like a lost puppy.

He turned to face me and said, "I don't want to cut this family reunion short, but if we don't leave now, then will miss our train. It's leaving in 10 minutes." Typical. I'm always stuck in the 10-minute-before-boarding rush hour.

"Then you kids better go now!" Ji-chan pushed us with his small arms and waved happily at us as Ruka and I walked side by side.

"So." Out of the blue, he decided he wanted to talk.

"So." I repeated.

"You okay?"

How could I be okay? I was enjoying my minutes of solitude and suddenly…with a proposal and acceptance like this…going to the airport already without preparing…how could I be okay? I was _far_from that. I was still in stage 1 of shock. "Sure. If you put it that way."

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We had a silent bus ride, in comparison to the one I spent with Nonoko. I noticed Ruka wasn't much of a talker and often chose to listen to his iPod than make any conversation. He hadn't had much on himself except for a black backpack. He was a light-packer. By the time the bell of the train clicked, he offered to carry one of my bags, which I all too well accepted. Maybe it was rude of me, but I gave him the heaviest one to carry, my pink suitcase. He picked it up with one hand as if it were as light as a cake, and followed me down the steps of the train.

He was leading the way by now and I believe he was making a conscious effort not to talk to me. He looked straight forward as if the bustling crowd was the most fascinating thing in the world. I felt uncomfortable.

"We're almost there." He announced thirty minutes later.

Sure enough, I saw Nonoko standing in the entrance with Sumire, and piles of piles of luggage behind them. When we got near enough I said, "You do know there's a weight limit right?"

Sumire and her rich-ass just smiled patronizingly "We know. We have something called money."

They were both wearing shorts and sunglasses that looked suspiciously expensive. I felt underdressed compared to them. Ruka was searching the room for any familiar faces and spotted Yuu and Natsume lagging behind a group of American Tourists.

"Hey! You guys!" He called out to them and flailed his arms a little too eye-catchingly. People were staring.

"Can you stop that?" Natsume growled as he got closer. "You're making us look like tourists."

Ruka smiled, a bright smile that I was used to seeing. "Technically, we will be in 16 hours and 30 minutes."

Natsume, shadowed by Yuu, looked disapprovingly at the ensemble. His frown got deeper as he glimpsed Sumire chatting away on her phone and Nonoko filing her nails. Natsume's glower bore holes into my skull. Once he took in the scene, he had on a surly expression, so surly I wouldn't be surprised if the doctors had told me he was born with it. He looked at me once over which seemed to be the equivalent of _what the hell are you doing here?_

I was thankful when an interruption pulled Natsume's attention away from me. "Where's Anna?" Yuu asked disappointedly. It was obvious that Yuu had a thing for Anna and never admitted it. He was the kind of person that wore their hearts on their sleeves.

Nonoko stopped filing and looked up. "She has to stay with her family. Something about how she always spent it with them and tradtion…yadda, yadda."

"Oh."

We all stood there awkwardly in a group, trying to figure out what to do next. There was a brief conversation ending up with Nonoko and Sumire arguing about Tokyo vs. Paris. Nonoko was adamant Paris was wonderful, but she would rather live in Tokyo. Sumire, however, was not satisfied with Japan as a whole and countered with points on the culture of Paris, how Parisians were sophisticated and their food had cool accents on the letters. The rest of us just listened aggravatingly. Yuu had to mediate between the two to reach on agreed terms. When all seemed settled, we realized we had another four hours until we needed to board our flights.

What do now?

In the first hour, Ruka bought food at a near vendor and each gave us what appeared to be fast food. We ate silently, and made occasional comments.

In the second hour, we split up and walked around a bit. Boys went one way, and the girls went the other.

"He seems so into you, Mikan." Sumire prodded me intentionally, hoping to get some juicy details that would make her day.

"Who?" I wasn't as oblivious as everyone seemed to think I was. I only asked this question to maintain my innocent reputation.

"Ruka, silly! He's been staring at you the whole day. And whenever you start talking, even if it's about the weather, he gives you his full attention. Can't get any more obvious than that right, Nonoko?"

Nonoko agreed and began talking about missing Anna. It sure didn't look like that in the beginning but I guess like me, Nonoko was good at hiding her real feelings. She told us about how she always spent the Summer with Anna and her family, since she had none herself: only a distant brother who she wasn't on speaking terms with. She never specified the reason. She said she felt guilty about going to Paris on her own selfish desire, and leaving Anna and the Summer she was supposed to have, behind. I listened and tried to lend help out once in a while; because I knew what it was like when you poured your heart out to someone and they treated your feelings without a care in the world.

Nonoko seemed like such a bright person. I would have never fathomed her to have any slight problems at all. I wondered what made her pour her story to us. Sumire and I weren't exactly her closest friends, and the things she was telling us seemed very personal. When heavy emotions build up, you're tempted to vent to anyone or anything. I guess that's why some people keep a diary. I'm more of a tell-your-feelings kind of girl instead of writing it down.

Surprisingly, Sumire was an attentive listener, and though I hate to say it, she offered better advice than me. She comforted Nonoko that life requires changes, and that Anna wouldn't mind her choice if she was a true friend. Nonoko seemed more relaxed and relieved after listening to Sumire's gentle words. Ah, the world of girls. I wondered how boys vented? They probably found the smallest kid on the block and beat them up.

In hour three, we met up by the small row of chairs near the line-up. We prepared our cards and doubled-check that everyone had their VISA's and we went through the rigorous inspection area.

I watched as Ruka, first to be received at the check-in desk, flashed his card. I could make out faint, black-bolded words: _Nogi, Ruka. Age 17. Eye color: blue._

Nonoko apologized profusely after she couldn't find her own VISA after we had checked it only minutes ago. She eventually had to dump the whole content of her bag and rummage through the scraps to produce a gleaming white card, which she represented to the frazzled check-in lady as soon as possible. Again, she apologized.

Sumire had to go through the metal detector twice. Once because her sunglasses had metal in them, even though she claimed furiously to the guard that they were "totally metal-free, so chill.". He just shook his head all-knowingly when the metal scanner went off. A raucous bleeping noise attacked our ears. More stares.

On the second time, she was arrogantly swaggering through the detector and once through, she flipped her hair indignantly at the guard. She put on her sunglasses as soon as she walked through and continued swaggering to her luggage. It seemed like he was so used to dealing with people like Sumire. We were all amused, mostly the spectators, but our little group was amused nonetheless.

After all of us completed the check, and our items were deemed harmless, we were able to finally board our flight with twenty minutes to spare. I could still hear the announcement ringing in my head.

"Flight 3A leaving in twenty minutes. Flight 3A." The voice was cool and smooth. I saw people of all shapes, sizes and race, climb on board. I heard the distinct shouts in French. Probably French tourists who were eager to get back to their homeland.

Behind me, I saw a petite woman scanning the room frantically. "Marie? Où est-tu?" She eventually looked relieved once a six-year-old girl came bouncing along behind her, oblivious to the uprising she caused. The two security guards surrounding the mother backed off, obviously glad that they didn't have to file a report for a missing child.

All was well and peaceful as we walked through the corridor that lead to the plane. Sumire insisted that she and I switch spots because she "would rather die than not sit with Natsume." And I agreed too willingly, even thankful. However, it meant I had to sit with Ruka, who looked at me as if he was not what he expected.

I watched Yuu and Nonoko settle themselves in the seat in front of us, and then slid into my chair. Ruka had the window-seat. Damn him. At least I could use the bathroom without making a fuss. I was notorious for having to use the washrooms at the most inappropriate times. I don't know what made me like this, but it just is. I usually had to go during weddings, school assemblies and definitely in the middle of a long car ride.

He was staring out the window like he was on the train. A look of complete disregard was painted on his face. I didn't know whether he was in deep thought or was again, intentionally ignoring me.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, genuinely curious.

He turned to look at me and smiled weakly. "I was thinking of my mother, mostly, and how nice it would be to see her. Other than that, I was thinking of Paris. I haven't been back since…well, since I was twelve when…" and he deadpanned. I was desperate to change the conversation.

"You know, you never told me why you invited me, and all of us. Natsume had made it pretty clear that you and him spent Summers together alone."

Upon hearing Natsume's name, his eyebrows shot up. "Natsume talked to you? When?"

"Nice try. Changing the subject doesn't work on me."

He laughed. "It's not a big secret, Mikan. It isn't even a conspiracy." He added when I still looked incredulous. "When you do Summer the same ordinary way like you do before, again and again, it becomes boring. And Summer isn't supposed to be boring."

I said nothing in reply. Surely, my repeated Summers with Hotaru weren't…boring. At least, that's how I felt about it. I didn't know what Hotaru felt like. Maybe she was waiting it to end and endured it because of me…

"I invited all of you guys along to Paris because first, I wanted to change it up, and second, because I wanted to visit my mother. I didn't want to be alone when I went to a foreign country, I needed a little reminder of home once in a while."

Well that made sense. And here I was, doubting Ruka's bonafide intentions. He was a good guy after all.

"Anyways, you didn't tell me your grandfather didn't approve of you going yet. In other words, you_ lied_. I had to cover for you on that one." Okay, maybe he wasn't so nice.

I blushed; I was determined not to let him see how his words had affected me. "What was I supposed to say when you turn up at my door first thing in the morning?"

"How about the truth?" He had his signature playful smile on, and for a moment, all the awkwardness between us was gone; dissipated.

"Okay, so he didn't approve. Not right away. Speaking of which, isn't it kind of creepy turning up at my village and persuading my grandpa?" Ha! Beat that!

He looked mischievous and his eye brows shot up again. His smile wasn't so playful anymore, it almost had an implicit message as if he were saying, _you really wanna go there?_ "First, it's not creepy if your grandfather had called me first and demanded, in his words, 'what the hell was going on' with me and you."

"How would he know?" I asked nervously.

"Let's just say you should be careful when you introduce grandfathers to girls who have to go through the metal detectors twice. Pretty sketchy." He smirked and looked out the window.

Damn it! so it was Sumire. I had remembered introducing her to my grandfather when he had come over just before Christmas Holidays. Speaking of which, Ji-chan had hinted he had some inner connections withing Gakuen Alice, but I had always assumed he was talking about Hotaru, not Sumire! That's just weird! So I made a mental note to confront her about this intrusion later. But for now, I'm going to make an effort to enjoy my flight. "So did Ji-chan pay for my flight too?" Truth be told, I was a little worried. Ji-chan and I weren't exactly your typical middle-class family. Seeing as we lived in the village and all, gave an indication of our financial standards.

"No. My mom has connections with the airline company." Wow. It must be nice to be the son of a millionaire. So nice.

After the initial icebreak, Ruka seemed more keen on talking. He talked about his mother and how much she had inspired him to become a great success as well.

"I was thinking of taking over the business, you know, after she got into the retirement age." He told me. "She was so understanding about it though, she said that if I didn't want to go into the Hotel business that she would just hire someone in for me, but still have it in my name. Doing that would cause a lot of trouble and not to mention legal battles, but she was so considerate…"

The way he talked about his mother made it obvious he loved her and truly care about her. When he did talk about her, he would say everything in a warm tone, as if he could talk about her endlessly.

I learned a lot about Ruka just by listening to him talk. The first being, that he didn't like oranges because they were too tangy for him, and that he was born on March 16th. Wow, listening actually is worth it.

We laughed and retold funny stories about GA, especially reminiscing Sumire's fiascoes in class. When we got bored, we watched a movie and discussed it. From in front of me, both Yuu and Nonoko were asleep. I was tempted to look behind me and inspect Natsume and Sumire. Somehow, I had the feeling he was sending me death glares from his position and dared not to turn my head an inch more than what was needed to look at Ruka. Occasionally, I heard Sumire's high-pitched voice giggle behind me, and constant deep murmuring, the kind of deeply frustrated murmuring.

I was glad Ruka and I had finally gotten over our perenially awkwardness. We could finally hold a conversation long enough it would be interesting. After all, we had to like each other if we hoped to endure a 12 hour flight together.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading. Reviews are welcome!


	4. Ruka's Secrets

**The Summer Everything Changed**

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It's truly a beautiful sight when you look out the window of a plane. No, not the window pane, but the view. I was guessing we were already flying over some part of Asia, because it was still day and the sky was a light pasty-blue. There was mist surrounding us everywhere, until Ruka informed me that the 'mist' I was seeing, was actually clouds. How many times had I looked at the sky and just watched the clouds floating benignly across the sky? I couldn't believe I was high enough in the sky to be _with_ the clouds, not looking up at them.

Ruka and I had watched a couple of short movies and critiqued them. I usually gave higher ratings because frankly, I didn't really care. Ruka, however, was so into his explanations and ratings that he analyzed every detail of the movie. He gave specific ratings to the decimal like 7.2/10, whereas I would say, "I liked it." It was obvious he had a passion for movies and when I asked him about it, he looked at me as if he'd said it a million times before.

"I'm going to be a movie critic when I grow up. At least, that's what I hope to be." He looked at me sideways, questioningly. "How about you?"

"I don't know what I want to be yet." It was true. By my pre-adolescence I was resolved in marrying a Prince and becoming a Princess of any piece of land. "I was thinking of going in the medical field." By my teens though, I finally had my head screwed on right and I decided to go delve into the sciences: biology, physics, and chemistry. I wasn't the best in my class, but what counts is that I like it right?

He looked at me with new found respect and he nodded understandingly, "That's intense."

I laughed, "So I've heard."

"You want to, like, be a Doctor or something?" I think he was a bit incredulous. It wasn't the first time someone's eyebrows shot up when I told them my future plans. I couldn't blame them for not believing me, I had spent my first couple of years at Gakeun Alice as a complete ditz. I was clumsy, happy-go-lucky and idiotic in some ways. At least I'd managed to smarten up and pull myself together. Again, I was still no Hotaru.

"Something like that, yeah." And this time we both laughed together. It was the first time I realized how easy it was to be with Ruka. After breaking the ice, there was never another awkward moment between us. It wasn't like my relationship with Natsume, who treated me condescendingly and acted as if he would never deign talk to me in public, for fear I might tarnish his impeccable reputation.

So it started. We talked about our future and what we hoped would happen. We only stopped when a Flight Attendant plopped down our meals: cold mashed potatoes and an assortment of vegetable. Between mouthfuls, Ruka made occasional comments on the food.

"A little too dry for my liking." He continued to chew loudly.

I was never a picky-eater. I ate anything I saw in the cafeteria no matter what time of day it was. I would eat pancakes for dinner, wakeup, and eat chicken right from the bed. As long as my stomach was being fed, I was satisfied.

"Tastes pretty good to me." I said this as I spooned the scraps of food from my plate and to my mouth.

Ruka's face contorted in disgust. "Here." He coughed, pushing his tray near me. "Have it. They added some fruits to the side, and without knowing it, I ate an orange. It's still burning my mouth."

I chuckled.

"What's so funny?" he was wiping his lips by now.

I looked at him straight in the eye and smiled, "You seem so impassive sometimes that I couldn't believe an _orange_ was your secret weakness."

If you think about it, everyone had a stupid downfall, even me. But the difference between Ruka and I was that I didn't go around telling everyone about it. That was like, what? two personalities ago. A whole different Mikan.

I was adjusting to my new environment: multiple rows of seats all perfectly aligned together, passengers of all ages and sizes were sitting in all sorts of seating arrangements, but what caught my eye was the small tv-looking screen in front of me. It had a shiny glossy-look to it that expensive equipment usually has, and above it, silver words were written across the top: eMOTERELLO. Hotaru had told me about these once. She recounted a story on when she had been on a plane to Hong Kong, to visit some relatives. She had taken apart one of the TV screens and examined the mechanics, she made sure that she had drugged her next door neighbour into a calm sleep before tampering with the equipment. Hotaru had to work fast if she hoped not to stirr any arousal or suspicion. She told me that it took her all night to disassemble the screen and to reassemble it. Several times her partner squirmed. Several times her heart skipped a beat. Hotaru was different that way. Ever since I remember her, she always had her hand on a new gadget.

I searched furiously for an ON button and was dismayed when I found none.

"It's a touchscreen." Ruka added after a lengthy silence. "My mother had them installed a while ago."

I nodded and tried to use this new information to help me. Nothing. "Where's the ON button?"

He looked reached over me and with a swipe of his fingers, the screen flickered into life.

"Thanks." I mumbled, and began surfing the assortments of mini-games and movies available for my preview.

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The skies ahead of us were dim now and long shadows stretched across the horizon, the sun had finally decided to go to sleep. "Remember your first day at Gakuen Alice?" it was clearly quiet on the plane, not a passenger stirred. I could hear the soft breaths of sleeping children, and the quiet roar of the engines in the background. Below us, I could just make out the faint roofs of houses, and heavy city lights. From them, I could imagine a city of bustling people unaware that a plane was passing over. I was one of those people a few short hours ago.

My head was sleepily rolling to the side and my eyelids were heavy with fatigue. "Yeah." I replied wearily. I closed my eyes and let my mind relax. Serenity washed over me and the tenacious grip of fatigue loosened its hold.

"I thought you were so brave." Ruka's voice was quiet, and I could imagine his face framed in the dark, accentuating his features.

I snorted; reality came flooding back into me. I felt his growing presence beside me. I could even see him smiling stupidly at me with his cheerful eyes.

"You are!" he whispered loudly. How ironic that must've sounded. "I heard a girl got through the Academy wall and everyone was talking about it…I just had to see it for myself so I walked there." He stopped for a while and yawned. "I saw you with Natsume." Was I dreaming? I couldn't tell. My mind was limp, and I was not thinking as lucid as I wished I was. I hoped it was a dream. I felt featherless. Invincible. Almost brave.

"I'm not brave." I stated. My eyes were still closed, but I could feel Ruka's presence beside me. It was the kind of unnerving presence of a companion, when you know a conversation has turned for the worst. It was so very quiet on the plane.

"Anyways, I saw you standing there, fighting off Narumi's pheromones. At first, I thought you were just another girl they were going to chuck out and then they found out you had an Alice. You were so happy when you found out. Alices aren't exactly something to be proud of, you know. That's probably why everyone thought you were weird." His words weren't meant to hurt but they did, and I was adamant in keeping my eyes closed. This time it wasn't because I was tired, it was because I couldn't bear to see what he looked like against the shadows; my shining knight in darkness.

It wasn't the first time I had been called weird, stupid, dumb, ditzy, clumsy…Mikan. The taunting was one of the reasons why I resolved to be different, to change from my former self, to become…normal; if that was even achievable. Once, I thought I was beyond repair; that my personality would forever be…weird, stupid, dumb, ditzy, clumsy and forever be, Mikan: the weird girl. Over the years, I've tried to re-create myself. Call it experiments or what you will, but I completely changed compared to my retro past.

"I didn't think that though. I thought you were so cool, happy and…different. Maybe that's why I liked you." I could feel him blushing. "No- no not that way, I mean, admired you sort of. You were everything I wanted to be: brave, confident, smart-" I snorted loudly by now. I didn't even make an effort to close my eyes, I was fully awake and listening intently. I looked over to Ruka who was sitting next to me. He was staring straight ahead out the window. The little light that streamed through shone on his face at perfect angles. I could see the outline of his face and nose. His blonde hair looked black in the darkness.

"Ruka." I cleared my throat. "I'm not that girl anymore." I worked so hard to erase my queerness, to just be another girl-next-door; the one who baked you cookies and was totally normal, nothing weird about her at all. I stopped wearing my hair in pigtails when I turned thirteen, I wore it down most of the time now. The only reason I would pull up, would be for Gym Class. My appearance had to be altered as well. Little by little I was becoming a new kind of Mikan, it wasn't the original Mikan, but I liked it: I liked what I was becoming.

"Maybe you're not, but you were, and some part of that girl will never leave." Please. Don't make me remember. Don't make me remember the inhibitions I felt, the insecurities that faced me _every_single day of my life. The way I was afraid to speak as if every word I said, and I mean _every_ word, would be used against me. Schoolchildren at that age were vicious creatures. Sumire was dominant bully in all cases because she had assumed that Natsume had taken a liking to me, ever since the upset I caused with breaking into GA. Over the years, I've forgiven and forgotten, and that's the way I liked it to stay. Ruka was digging up the past I longed never to remember.

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I woke up maybe hours later? I felt a cold hand tap my shoulder. I was just about to open my mouth when the same hand clamped it shut. I was fighting the urge to scream

"Shut up!" the voice commanded. It was ferocious and demanding. "Don't you dare touch Ruka, or do anything to wake anyone up. Got it three-star?" I could picture him now, sitting dangerously in his chair.

I'm a four-star! A four-star! A clammy hand was wound tightly around my mouth, and I could almost taste the saltiness of its palm. I went on a tirade of angry curses, but all that came out was a gentle hissing whisper. It was almost a soothing kind of whisper, had one not known it had come from a harrassed female on-board. If I had not known better, I would have thought I was suffocating. The grip around my face was so tight it hurt and tears were stinging my eyes. How could I respond?

"I'm going to let go but you better not do anything you'll regret." True to his word, Natsume loosened his grip and dropped his hands. I whipped around silently; bewildered as to why I had chosen to obey him. There was a silent look in his face that made me realize that he was serious. His eyes were downcast and had lost their mischievous glint. I pictured myself at this moment, and imagined my own eyes: docile and submissive. In other cases, I would have wished I looked fierce and potent, ready to take on any hint of abuse.

_Or else what?_

"What the hell was that for?" I asked wildly, a little too loud for his liking because he glared at me. A penetrating, searing look. Whoa there… My heart was racing; one moment I was asleep calmly, and the next moment I almost suffocated to death.

It was then that I realized how close Natsume and I actually were. I knew he sat a seat behind me, but I didn't know that he was _that _close. He was almost two arm lengths away. Behind him, Sumire snored quietly, her mouth wide open and grossly, drool was dripping from the ends. Natsume was sitting straight steadfast. His face was vulnerable-looking. His mouth was dark and like his eyes, they had a rueful downcast that him look like he was frowning. When I found the word that described him, it was plain and blunt: he looked innocent. It was as if he was implicitly saying _I'm Sorry_.

"More like, the hell are _you_ doing here? The hell are all of you doing here? _Especially _you. I thought we had an agreement." He licked his lips and the redness in his eyes were back again, making me wonder if I had imagined the whole scenario; they were frightening. He looked like a night predator staring into a platter of meat.

"Newsflash, I clearly do not remember agreeing to anything? Show me a parchment that I signed bigshot. You can't make people do what you want, you know."

"Maybe so, but I can threaten them and use all sorts of nasty little tactics they wouldn't like. Would you want to find out?" He said it in a derisive tone, his eyes were glinting in the same mischievous delight. Then quickly, he seemed like he was sad. I noticed that his features were drooping and his eyes were no longer sharp and acute.

Curiosity got the best of me. "Like what?"

When he didn't respond I laughed. Natsume was always spilling forth nonsense...threats here and there with no back up; empty threats; impotent. I felt bold against him now. I was no longer the ditz that he called teasingly as 'polka' but Mikan. I hoped he'd seen the changes in me, how mugh I've grown from the past I've tried desperately to leave behind. Through this realization, I felt confident and vicious, I felt like a prey who could defend itself from the predator and actually, maybe, win.

"You got nothing don't you? What a joke…now if you'll let me go back to sleep, you pedophile…"

I was twisting into a comfortable position when a cold hand clamped against my wrist. "I'll hurt you, you know. You're really starting to piss me off." His constant shift of moods was irritating. I whipped around silently but harsh enough for him to recoil in shock.

"Why the hell does it matter to you if I stay or not? Why do you care if all of us stay?" The anger in my voice was apparent. I whacked his hand away violently. My hands were positioned in self-defense, he couldn't try any tricky alice techniques because I'd just nullify them. I was a different Mikan now."Do that again and _you'll _be sorry, dick."

He ran a cool hand over his hair. It fell to his eyes and contrasted his skin color. "Look, what I told you about Ruka's big mistake, well it was true." Sumire snored loudly from her premises. Ruka stirred beside me, gently, but a movement nonetheless. Natsume looked ahead and met my eyes sternly; unflinchingly. He didn't say anything and analyzed Ruka thoroughly. I saw his eyes going over Ruka's face and the pensive look he wore while he was doing it. For what seemed like hours, which were really only minutes, he told me.

I looked at him questioningly; I did not understand. We stared at each other in silence for the longest of times. It was he who broke off first, he receded back into the darkness and all I could see was his tired eyes, innocent and big, staring back at me. _I'm sorry_. It seemed to whisper its guilty confessions to me and I, I felt nothing. Natsume went back to sleep after our conversation, his eyes were no longer fierce but rather tiresome. I resumed my usual position and though I forced myself to sleep, my eyes would not close. Ruka woke up hours later.

For the rest of the plane trip, I could not force myself to meet Ruka's gaze. He would laugh heartily from time to time, and in response, I would smile demurely up at him. I made sure nothing gave my feelings away but it was hard. No one had told me how hard pretending was and I wished someone would have warned me sooner. The façade I was putting up wouldn't last long and soon, everything would be spilled forth in complete disarray, like a volcanic eruption. Once, Ruka caught my brooding expression and openly questioned me. I had to lie. I hate that.

Ruka caught on quickly and suddenly, the wall of awkwardness was between us again. I was glad for the washroom. It gave me precious minutes to recuperate and just be…me. I had probably used the washroom ten times during the whole flight; a lot, but completely worth it. Every time I sat back at my seat, I wasn't me, I had to be someone else. Because how could you act normally when you've been told that your friend's mother had died?

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How do you act in my current predicament? Happy? Sad? Maybe I should let him know that I was aware of his semi-secret…would my facial expressions eventually reveal the truth? Surely, I was never the poker face champion and I was always easy to read.

I jolted. "Are you going to eat that apple?" Ruka asked coolly. Calm down, Mikan, it's just his voice.

I turned, in the hopes it would look 'normal' and smiled. My most normal of smiles. "No, no you can have it."

I watched his hand reach over and toss the apple slice into his mouth. He studied me for several seconds before turning his attention to the window. I turned my attention to the screen in front of me. Ruka really had connections. The plane we were on was _Starflight_, a renowned airline country that served most of Asia. Its reputation was well-known for its high-tech design and almost perfect customer satisfaction. I kept this in mind as I searched for a movie to watch. I had just skimmed through the Action & Adventures column and was making my the Animations list. I watched as one by one, pictures of movie releases were popping up on the screen.

"You should watch Wall-E." I fought back the urge to jolt. "It's a really good movie."

"Of course it is!" I replied nervously and tittered.

He looked at me confusedly and assumed his normal expression of analysis. "Mikan, are you okay?"

Shit. I knew it. "I'm fine!" I replied a little too quickly, and once I saw his incredulous look, I quickly added. "Flights always make me a little dizzy!"

"You're acting suspiciously weird." Ouch. Weird. I've worked so hard to avoid that usage of word, especially when it pertains to myself...

I shook my head modestly. "Really, it's fine Ruka."

Nervously, I flipped on Wall-E, partly to satisfy Ruka, and partly because I didn't want to revive

our conversation him. Soon, the beginning scenes were opening and I let my mind relax and hoped to immerse myself into the movie.

Behind me, I heard snippets of Sumire's conversation with Natsume, almost shouting. Sumire was doing most, or almost all of the talking. In front of me, Yuu and Nonoko were bent over watching the same movie and talking profusely all the while.

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If I could endure two more hours, this would be fine. Everything would be fine. But those two hours stretched out tediously and I closed my eyes and mulled several thoughts over: did Nonoko, Yuu or Sumire know? If so, it didn't look like it. Intermittently, I would hear Sumire's cackle of laughter or catch a glimpse of Nonoko smiling gayly at Yuu. I took notes on their behaviour and endeavoured to replicate their expression in hopes to fool Ruka's all-seeing eye. I laughed when he told a joke, kept up the banter, and shared stories. By this point, I had been filled in with most of Ruka's childhood stories: his parents divorced when Ruka was only ten-years-old. He told me the following year would be difficult and trechearous and amid the divorce, he could only find happiness with Natsume.

That's when I came into play. He then stated that my bravery, actions and abrupt entrance to Gakuen Alice inspired him. I was flustered and profusely told him to stop.

"I'm not a Goddess, Ruka." Honestly, I wasn't. Ruka's steady stream of compliments were unnerving, sometimes flattering, and other times, annoying.

He smiled sheepishly again. I was growing more familiar of that half-smile he was so accustomed to. "Maybe."

And for a few moments after that, I had forgotten I was sitting next to a boy with a dead mother. It was just us; him and me; Mikan and Ruka.

Ruka had that effect on people. His amicable personality made him an easy companion, and his superior knowledge never failed to beat you in a debate. Ruka's mother died. I was fazed by this. I looked into his blue eyes and realized he was just like me. He knew what it was like to lose a parent, or both in fact; he informed me his father was never the visiting-type and only arranged 'meetings' with Ruka during mandatory holidays such as Christmas.

"He isn't really my father." He'd said. "More like...someone who shares the same genetic information as me, that's all. That's as close as we'll ever get."

I was at a loss for words. "That." I gulped. "Must really suck."

Though I had never seen my father, only in faded pictures, I felt Ruka's loss nonetheless. So when his mother died, I related. I knew, and I grieved with him. To be motherless and fatherless was a pitiable thing. But there was always going to be one difference between him and I. And that is while we both were parentless, I still had Ji-chan. I still had a family. Just thinking this thought made me feel guilty and my insides began to squirm. I was so selfish allowing myself to feel for Ruka's loss when entirely, I do not know what it is like to never be loved. For me, there was always Ji-chan; forever supporting me.

I could hear Ji-chan croaky voice echoing in my head, _And here's you mother, Mikan, her name was Yuka._ He would tell me this proudly after procuring an old faded photograph of a sullen-looking girl. She looked identical to me except she had straight, long hair with clean-cut bangs that fell to her eyes. _And here she is with your father...and..._ and I would stop listening. I would nod listlessly, staring at the people whose faces resembled mine but I did not feel for. I thought myself unnatural once, not having an ounce of love for the woman who gave birth to me. But I did not know her, so, did that make it okay?

He nodded, "It does. But enough about me, what about you? what about your parents?"

"All I have is Ji-chan." I said this stoically. It did not bother me to be parentless; I grew up without parents and didn't even remember what their presence was like. How could you miss something you never had? There were times I still did, but now, I'm over it.

We sat there in gentle understanding. Just being together was enough. Our presence comforted each other. Unlike most people, we didn't need words to feel for each other. I wondered then if everyone on this plane knew what was going on. Would the lady with the green hat sitting a row away from me, still be laughing? would the old, paunch man stop eating and attentively listen? would the world stop spinning for a second?

"So Natsume told you huh?" I was startled and quickly averted my eyes. "I heard you guys, you know, last night and all. I think Yuu and Nonoko did too. I don't know about Sumire." He reclined as far back as his seat with allow him.

"I'm sorry Ruka." I was embarrassed that my clandestine meeting with Natsume had garnered more attention than it should have. I sat on my chair for horus pretending; acting; lying, while all along, Ruka knew. He knew everything that happened that night and he had let me play along...making a fool of myself. Letting me sit in awkwardness and suffer the agonizing burden of the news. But then all the while - all the while, _I_ was the one who decided to treat Ruka differently. _I_ was the one who didn't tell him about my meeting with Natsume, I held secrets from him that should have been discussed, confronted. All along, I was the one being imprudent. Ruka sat there patiently allowing me to recoup my thoughts.

"Don't be, we all know what it's like; nothing new." He became quiet taciturn then and decided against it. His face was glowing weakly again. "I don't want this Summer to be about grieving, I want it to be about making new memories."

I understood. I understood Ruka's needs to forget, if not, at least lessen the pain and sorrow he felt. How many times had people given him the pitying stare? or whispered rumors behind his back?_Hey, you know that boy...yeah... his mother..._ and he must have endured it all by himself. All alone.

I remember back in April when I was in Science class. It had begun as a normal day, and Ruka had been called down from the office. He walked over and down the hallway languidly and never came back. Rumors and hearsay never really got around in Gakuen Alice. There were too many kids of too many ages for everyone to know who was who and this and that. For all we know, Ruka was just going to the principal's office to help organize his folders. Studentx would be called down for the most randomest of things. I pieced it all together; what it meant to be called down that day, especially what it meant to Ruka. His whole world must have shifted upside down. When the principal told him, or maybe it was a phone call, whichever it was, it must have hurt. I felt his heart stopping like mine had when Natsume had told me. I could never imagine what it would be like to be in Ruka's place instead, the soles of my black shoes padding the hallway and down the corridor to the principals office; wringing my hands nervously as the principal would say "Your grandfather has suddenly passed-"...and then my world would blow up into oblivion.

"You know what," I said suddenly, shocked with myself, "I want to create the most memorablest of memories this Summer."

He laughed. "If 'memorablest' is even a word, sure."

And together, we made a tacit pact. We were going to have the Summer of our lives.

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I wasn't so morose for the rest of the trip afterall. I had begun to get used to the gentle rocking of the plane and the passing-by of flight attendants. I memorized the hefty breathing sounds of an old, paunch man who sat across from me. His mustache perfectly straight and his glasses always askew on his nose. The plane was bustling with activity. When Ruka and I grew tired of talking and sat still, I could hear the chatter of small children, sometimes in French, sometimes in Japanese. I promised myself to attempt to learn French in anyway possible during my stay. After all, when in Rome, do what the Romans do: when in France, faire ce que font les Français.

Ruka had assured me that by no time, I would be able to learn French. He told me I wouldn't be fluent, but I would manage. I didn't expect to become multilingual in over a night and so I was okay with that fact. So far, Ruka had been slowly teaching me words to nouns and he would say it slowly and clearly, with a distinct parisian accent.

"Apple," he would say for one. "is _pomme, _and chair, is _chaise._"

I would then repeat solemnly, stumbling over the pronounciation. Ruka advised me to not force my words, to speak casually.

"This isn't Spanish. There are some hard words and some practice would be needed to use the back of your throat...but overall, its a soft language." He was so patient with me, even when I stumbled over and over on considerably easy words, he didn't falter with his patience.

By an hour and a half later, I knew around ten new words in french, and I was eager to learn more. I was so worried I would forget these new meanings, my attachment to another world, that I mumbled them under my breath reverently. It would become a sort of vigil for the next few minutes, seeing the names of the items in my head and translating them into a new foreing language. Words were beautiful.

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**A/N:** I'm more of writing this story for me. I've written random stories in the past but have never finished a real series. I hope to have 15 or more chapters in this story and to finish it with a passion!

Thanks for reading and I hope to hear from your feedback by reviewing!


	5. Mikan's Revelations

**The Summer Everything Changed**

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Ruka was speaking fluent French to a lady in a suede jacket. She was nodding and replying to his seeming-questions, while the rest of us stood and watched. She had light hair that matched Ruka's and was had a very Parisian look to her. While the rest of us wore casual jeans and mismatched shirts, Parisians tended to take more pride in their appearance. Paris, being the said capital of fashion, had fashion-lovers swarming the place. Women were wearing heels despite a lack of occasion, and men were wearing expensive-looking suits while chatting purposefully on their wireless phones.

"He's so cool." Sumire breathed. Sumire was easily impressed by anything that showed skill. She had been particularly impressed with Ruka's language abilities.

Ruka turned around and with a final _merci, _he walked towards our frail group. He had his hands in his pockets and wore a bright blue-striped t-shirt with dark pants.

_Le Rêve, _the successful hotel-chain that Ruka's mother: Amélie Bilodeaux, owned, was only a few minutes drive from the airport. Ruka informed us where it was situated:

"Between a very old-looking area, with a lot of people walking around. People here are all busy and are very…flamboyant; expressive. Like, for example, people having screaming fights on the streets casually and couples passionately kissing in random corners are…well, it's quite normal here in France." He sounded uneasy as he said this, as if we were judging his heritage and he wanted us to accept it. In a way, we all were. But to ease Ruka's fears, I secretly believe all of us were in awe about the whole experience.

Everything felt surreal. The people with berets clipped onto their heads walking past us, seemed unrealistic. The French shops planted along our sides begging for our attention didn't feel tangible. It was as if we were part of a universe where we could see, but not touch our surroundings. It gave everything a sort-of dreamlike state. Most of us were so used to the bustling streets of Tokyo, the flashy lights displayed on billboards and especially the vendors on the streets clamoring for clients. The softness and cultural French atmosphere was overwhelming. I felt like I didn't know how to properly act in a situation like this. Cliché as it sounds, I might as well be myself.

We were sitting around a circular table with a random umbrella stricking through the middle. It was hot outside, and the umbrella provided the necessary shade that was pleasant. We were ordering our meals to start off with while waiting for our ride to appear. Ruka was having something called cheese soufflé, while most of us decided to order something semi-familiar. I for one, ordered a mango shake with a salad. Sumire remarked that she thought I was on a diet. I let her immaturity pass. Later, she also decided to have a salad.

Natsume had his hands behind his back and Nonoko and Yuu were talking again. A lot, actually. Ever since the plane ride, they've been planted side-by-side sharing inside jokes and god knows what else. The rest of us were all sipping our drinks in a grateful silence. All of us were still suffering from jet lag and our bodies were sore all over from the experience. Several times, I caught Ruka's eyelids growing heavy and Sumire stifling a yawn.

Once our meal was finished and paid for, a nice brown-haired waitress swooped in and cleared our table. Ruka reached to answer his phone.

"It's here!" He announced, obviously relieved that home was closer than it was a couple of minutes ago.

The rest of us frantically clutched our suitcases and dashed along the tiled floors towards the exit. Sumire was the first to get there, shouting in triumph.

"Haha! First!" She exclaimed. Natsume brushed passed her, not even attempting to hide his eye-roll.

I didn't say anything. My gaze was fixed on a shiny black limo ahead of us. The sides were glossy and the sun hit in at all the right directions. It was shining. Ruka had to explain.

"I called up the _Le Rêve,"_ He started. "but my uncle, Jinno, would have no agreement in it. He said he was going to personally call a chauffeur and I declined….well, what can we do now?"

Yuu was at a loss for words. "This. Is. Awesome!" Yuu liked to emphasize each words for full effect. Along with Sumire, he was the first one to run into the car. A dark man who was standing beside them helped them inside and took their suitcases into the back seat. He was wearing a black suit with a black bowler hat. Every time he lifted our luggage, I could see the bulge of his muscles move rhythmically.

Once inside, I was engulfed by comfort. I sat awkwardly beside Ruka, our knees touching innocently. Natsume eyed us warily as he sat into a seat in front of us. We were all facing each other; a window separated us from the driver. He rolled the dividing window down and spoke: a deep, rumbling sound.

"Where to Nogi-sama?" He spoke English quite well although his pronunciation was a little thick.

Ruka sighed and closed his heavy eyes. He was clearly exhausted from travelling and adjusting his body clock to the eight-hour difference. It was mid-day in Paris and in Tokyo, it would be the time we would all be preparing our beds.

"To _Le_ _Rêve_, I suppose." Ruka ordered. Implicitly, he was saying _where else?_ And I had to agree with him, our destination was pretty obvious. Crystal clear almost.

The driver nodded and his big hands grasped the steering wheel. The car rumbled into life and soon, we were rolling out of the parking lot of the airport. From my position, I noticed the first difference: the steering wheel was built on the right-side of the car. Unusual. Usually – always, actually – it would be to the left…Paris was confusing. I asked Ruka about this sometime later but he said he didn't know. Yuu was the one who spoke up.

Yuu's glasses were askew on his face and Nonoko was asleep beside him. He was keeping a careful distance from her frail body. "They have traffic on the left lanes and so it would make sense for the steering wheel to be on the right, right?" He laughed and continued to adjust his glasses.

Yuu was the smart guy in our mishap of a bunch. He was the type of guy you stereotyped with being good at all things electronic and aced every test he was given. He was also the kind of guy you would expect to answer when wondering the position of a steering wheel. In other words, Yuu Tobita was our brains in everything. He was voted class president for four consecutive years; votes that were unanimous and he gladly reclaimed his position each time. Sometimes, even I forget that Yuu is also human.

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"Holy flying mackerels!" Sumire exclaimed, another annoying thing about her.

Natsume grunted and raised his eyebrows, "Mackerels, huh?" He snickered. "Who would've thought?"

Sumire continued exclaiming, unfazed by Natsume's pessimistic demeanor. "Ruka, you are _so_ lucky!|" She was ecstatic, standing in front of one of the most successful hotel chains in the world "I can't wait to meet your mother!"

There was a long, tight pause punctured only by Sumire's shrill noise. Nonoko was rubbing her eyes and looked up at the gleaming building. There was a large awning above them and people coming in and out of double doors. Some of them were on their cellphones, and some just looked like they were doing something important. I could see the Hotel teeming with clients of prestige and value. I felt out-of-place at such grandeur.

Ruka tensed beside me at the mention of his mother's name. Other than Ruka, it was only Natsume and I who were particularly disturbed. Natsume's attitude darkened and a storm cloud seemed to hover over his head. Yuu and Nonoko were tired and oblivious, more so was Sumire.

In a quick act to gather himself, Ruka's face returned into a gentle expression.

"I guess we'll settle in now!" He brushed passed us. Bellboys came and carried our luggage behind us. Soon, we stepped into the revolving doors and entered the ostentatious building.

I was right. Most of the clients looked like celebrities. Women were tanned and had luxurious shawls draped around their shoulders. Dapper young men were strolling the lobby and talking importantly to their neighbors. All in all, my casual get-up seemed improper at a place like _Le Rêve_. I felt the need to change into something more appropriate, something more grown-up-like. I felt embarrassed with myself.

Except for Sumire, she was the only one properly dressed. Her sunglasses was perched daintily on top of her hair; you could see the metal sparkling under the fluorescent light. She had a full-length blouse and an appropriate skirt that reached her knees. She looked rich as well. Sumire never disclosed her family history, but hearsay and gossip stated she was the daughter of a very important family. I never really cared to discuss her family history any further than that. She, like the rest of us, had aspects we'd rather keep as confidential as possible.

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The elevator ride was excruciating: stuffed into such a small space with a myriad of people was suffocating. I was thankful when we arrived at the penthouse and the bellboys trailed faithfully along behind us, like puppies. The corridors of the hotel were decorated with a dark carpet and the walls were trimmed gold. Fancy wall paper was pasted on the walls; it was some sort of intricate design with a lot of blue in it. We passed door after brown door with shiny golden knobs.

And then we stopped.

In front of us, there was a wide ebony door bigger than the rest of the doors we had seen. The door was stained with darker lines and had lines etched into its skin. The sheen of the door was like a girl's lip gloss: enticing. Ruka coughed while the rest of us stood in awe.

"We'll be leaving now Nogi-sama." The short bellboys bowed courteously and hustled away, eager to serve the other clients.

"Is…this real?"

Ruka chuckled "Uh, Sumire, you can touch it if you think this is an illusion."

Natsume huffed, he was the only one of us that did not seem impressed with the grandness of the situation. "All this for a door. And you guys haven't even seen the inside yet." With that, Natsume's tanned fingers curled around the golden handle and turned.

Our eyes were not prepared for what we would see.

From the small stream of light flooding into the room, I could see that the room had an open-concept. You could clearly see the kitchen, living room, and dining room without any walls dividing them. It was as open as fields in summer. The kitchen was smaller than the rest of the room but it was the most divine. There were stainless steel appliances, granite countertops and cooking equipment hanging from a long steel rod that was attached to the ceiling. There was a long island that stood proudly in the middle.

The living room was simple. It only had a couch and a small TV, it was cute and livable. Something that fit what I was used to. On the far right of the TV, there was an air hockey table and foosball table. Everything seems suspiciously sumptuous. Even the doorknobs were luxuriously crafted.

"Yeah, I got this place re-decorated to meet our needs I guess." Ruka walked in first, his footsteps made soft sounds on the hardwood floor. "You guys can come in if you'd like." He looked at all of us invitingly. Slowly, we took our steps.

Once we had regained our bearings on reality, we all had a sudden realization. _Where are the bedrooms?_ Ruka must have sensed this lingering question because he said, "Oh and the entrance to the bedrooms are those doors back there." Sure enough, there were five doors at the end of the room, each with a name written on them.

I waded my way through the furniture along with Natsume, Sumire, Yuu, and Nonoko. Ruka had decided to check his room out later and walked over to the kitchen to get a cool drink. I had to agree, it was a pretty hot day.

I entered the room with the engravings _Mikan_ on the gold plate. My eyes wandered over the comfortable bed and the boudoir sitting on the right. There was a desk with a telephone sitting idly on it. There was also a bookshelf filled with novels and manga.

Ruka definitely had studied each of us. He knew that I like simple rooms with nothing more than I needed. He also knew that Yuu liked high-tech gadgets and therefore, his room was given a multiple power outlets and a black computer. In a way, I was impressed with everyones room. Sumire had a larger closet than most of us and magazines of summer fashion. Natsume's room was a bit somber with dark colors and a heavy curtain blocking the window along with the view. Nonoko had a pink room with cute designs painted on the wall. I especially thought her waterbed was something to be envious about. Finally, when Ruka had decided to come over and join the commotion, I saw that his room was plain. The walls were blue and the room was almost bare except for a bed, desk and a couple of posters pasted on the wall. The posters were of athletes of various sports: baseball, soccer, and basketball.

I watched as he set his luggage: a brown, leather bag, on top of his bed. He remained silent for a while as if a flood of memories had overtaken him and his countenance became impassive. I attempted to break him out of his reverie by greeting him. My voice was carried away by the sounds of our neighbors and it appeared he had not heard me. Quietly, I slipped worriedly into my assigned room.

○•○○•○○•○○•○○•○○•○

It was late in the night and the lights of Paris were still bright and volatile. I could see from my window the blazing fire light of the moon overpowered by the city lights. Cars were zooming impatiently on roads and some late-night walkers were adventuring throughout the quaint streets. My thoughts were in a mess. When I found peace at last, some striking thought would snap me back into awareness and so this would continue.

Guiltily, I decided to call Ji-chan, whom I promised to call hours earlier. He must have been worried stiff. My brain protested and my body wished to sleep, yet my soul would not rest till I heard a familiar voice.

"MIKAN!" His voice was earsplitting as always.

I replied quickly, a little too urgently. "Hey, Ji-chan. Sorry for not calling earlier. I just forgot and there was stuff happening-"

"No worries!" He interposed. He must've sensed my guilt resonating from the other side of the phone. I knew he must have been worried but didn't want me to know lest it should ruin my mood. "So, how is it?"

I pondered on that thought for a minute, thinking what I should tell him. "It's quite different." I said vaguely. I so wanted to tell Ji-chan about Ruka and everything that had happened on the plane ride; how only Natsume and I knew out of the rest. I was burdened by this knowledge. "Say, Ji-chan, have you heard anything about Ruka's mom, you know, Amélie Bilodeaux…?" I trailed off into empty silence.

"Uh, nothing really, nothing in the news or magazines lately! Why?" He asked, curiosity tainting his voice . I was puzzled for a while, how could the rest of the world not know? How was her death concealed? It should have caused quite a commotion and unrest within the business. News like this was merit to first page of the New York Times. I could picture the headlines in black, bold letters: _SUCCESSFUL HOTEL BIGSHOT PASSES AWAY_, and underneath would be a picture of a woman with soft blonde curls and blue eyes. My mind wandered into her possibilities of death, Natsume had never mentioned it, and ever since our surreal encounter on the plane, I was left without any clue as to how.

"Nothing. Just curious." I was tired now and I closed my eyes. "Look, I got to go." And without waiting for an answer, I clicked the phone shut and tossed it ontop of a plush red pillow.

My body felt weak and sore but my mind was determined to stay awake. It was then that I decided to venture into the kitchen for a midnight snack or some sort of entertainment to pass the time.

I slipped into my comfortable fur slippers and entered the spacious open-concept living room.

Underneath the light and leaning against the curved window, I saw him. The bags under his eyes were more prominent than before and his face was sallow from the mornings heat. I approached him cautiously with a drink in hand. It was a soda I had taken from the refrigerator.

"Can't sleep?" I asked meekly.

He turned around and managed a smile, "Mikan, hey."

I couldn't stop myself. "About the plane…about what you said and what Natsume told me…" I took a deep breath, willing myself to be brave. Finally with enough conviction I managed to ask him. "What happened to your mother?"

My question was like a stab of the knife. He went blank and abstract as if his thoughts and being were carried away into with the liveliness of the city. His aura darkened. "She died." I waited for him to expound. "of lung cancer." I thought he was just going to leave it at that until I saw his mouth move again. This time, words came out. "My father, he was never close with her and well, when he found out, he never cared. He even threatened to sell the story to magazine publishers if we didn't pay him off. I knew it was a mistake to tell him, I persisted in keeping it hushed but my uncle, Jinno, he told me that it was the right thing to do. Anyways, when I found out, I didn't believe it, I was depressed and I think I still am." He was right, the last few months, his demeanor was no longer ignorant or uplifting, it was dark and foreboding. "My uncle told me to lighten up a little. But how could I do that? My mother had just date for fuck's sake! What did he mean to lighten up? I thought about it, right, and maybe it wasn't such a bad idea: inviting people over, having fun…like nothing happened. Anyways, the news was about to get out soon, I thought I might as well be somewhere safe when it comes out. Tomorrow." One of his knees was raised and he had his right arm ontop of it. The side of his head was tilted back and leaning on the glass.

"Tomorrow? What do you mean, Ruka? Everyone is going to find out tomorrow?"

"Yeah, you can't really keep something like this a secret. We've kept the media out of it for two months but you can't evade a missing hotel honcho anywhere. Her friends know of course, only her close friends, and the rest of them think she's taking a vacation in Hong Kong." He laughed queerly. "Everyone's gonna know now. No use in trying to keep this burden to myself…whatever happened to privacy? The biggest thing I'll hate about this, is how people will exploit my mother's death. They'll sell the story to magazines, friends will give personal accounts in exchange for cash; it's quite repugnant and really, disrespectful. But what can you do? It'll happen and nothing can stop it. My uncle is going to talk with people from _Les jours_, a newspaper company, and from there, it'll start. One newspaper stand at a time."

I had nothing to say, nothing to help him, exactly no words of comfort. I couldn't precisely say that everything was going to be all right because like me, he knew it wasn't guaranteed. Once the news is out, it will spread quickly and Ruka's family matters will be read for the enjoyment of everyone across the world. He would have to bear his mother's death all over again with constant reminders everywhere.

"I- I'm so sorry, Ruka." Indeed, I truly was. My sorry wasn't enough. It wasn't going to change anything yet as much as I wanted to help, it was all I could offer.

Ruka looked at me as if he'd heard that word uttered so many times that it had already lost its meaning. Worthless. He nodded, and continued staring out the window where Paris was still alive and bustling. "Hey, Mikan, can I ask you anything?"

I hesitated momentarily, "Shoot for it."

"When the rest of them find out tomorrow, can you try not to let this change anything between us?" His eyes were shining blue orbs in the midst of darkness.

I gulped, and lied. "Sure."

Ruka had asked too late, and even if he had asked earlier, it wouldn't have been possible. Knowing this, knowing what had happened had changed the way I viewed him. Not in a bad way, but in a more sympathetic lighting. We had shed our innocence, our awkwardness and ignorance together. We were no longer just friends: we'd created a sort of mutual understanding between us. "Sure, Ruka."

Feeling like I could no longer sleep with wide-awakened eyes, I sat down across from him. We both sat in silence that was both beautiful and entertaining. We didn't need words to accompany each other. Just our very presence together was enough. The room was awfully darkly lit and the furniture seemed lonely without any living being occupying them.

"I was hesitating to invite you." Out of nowhere, he began speaking again. "Not because of what happened recently, but because I liked you."

I blushed readily. I did not like where this conversation was going. It was like when he had approached me on the plane and told me I was brave. Of course, I denied it profusely but now…It isn't possible to deny other people's feelings for them.

"Ruk-"

"Let me finish." He raised a hand to silence me. "Of course, you probably knew it all along. I mean, everyone knew…and that was the probably, because _he _knew too."  
I was confused, my emotions were raving with insecurity and suddenly, my inhibitions were lashing at each other in my mind. I became meticulously conscious of myself: was my make-up smudging? Did the lighting make me look a little fat? Trifling thoughts grew with importance in my raked mind.

What did he mean? Who was _he?_ His tone of voice darkened, almost forebodingly.

"You didn't know?" He sighed and rubbed his temples, casting a furtive glance around the room. Then he whispered, lowering his usual loud voice. "Natsume knew. Natsume knew and it wasn't good."

Frozen to the window, I could not move. Every word, every movement of his I watched carefully I was clinging to his voice for stability.

"I'm assuming you knew, all right. Or maybe not. Gosh, sometimes you can be so dense. He liked you too." He averted his gaze and stared safely on the carpet. "There, I said it. Don't kill me."

I considered laughing. What a cruel joke! Any minute now, Natsume would emerge from behind the futon couch and burst into laughter. Any minute now…and minutes passed in complete silence.

"I- you've got it all wrong, he _hates_ me. I absolutely know it, he never-"

"Natsume's not an expressive guy and the only way he can express how he feels about you is through the only emotion he knows: hate. He didn't know himself what he was feeling for a while, but I knew, and soon, I guess he knew it too."

I was waiting for Natsume still, waiting for his black hair to pop out behind any hidden furniture. For his serious eyes to stare back at me in mockery, in derision.

"No, I-" I stuttered groping for a word to deny, deny, deny.

"Look-" Ruka's eyes begged for understanding.

No. I would not look. I had to go. I had to go back to my room. To retreat like the coward I was. I was not brave at all, because at that moment, I hoisted myself up with considerable effort and trudged toward a modest room.

○•○○•○○•○○•○○•○○•○

When my door was safely shut, I leaned back at it and slid down into a crouching position. My hands went flying to my face in frustrations. Memories came flooding back to me: Natsume calling me names, always teasing me, always there when I least expected it. How could I be so stupid to not see the underlying motive? It must've been apparent to some people, yes it must've. Then, I remembered Hotaru's shrewd observation of Natsume each time he was around our vicinity, how she refused to comment on this matter. She had hidden this from me too, and like everyone else, had left me in complete darkness. Natsume had never spared me the truth, he hid it away and left me to be mocked by the whole school. Mikan, the weird girl. Mikan, the dense girl. It was all true.

Twenty or thirty minutes ago, my life had complete order. I was still the same girl with varying emotions and drifting thoughts. Now, I felt like a whole new person with new resolves. My heart hardened with forlorn fury. I was no longer going to be used. In fact, I promised myself sternly, never, _never,_ to give me heart to anyone every again. I would guard it, lock it and throw away the key in a turbid stream. I would never find it and no one would either. It was perfect.

**A/N:** As always, thank you for reading. Reviews are much appreciated!


	6. Luna's Interference

**The Summer Everything Changed**

○•○

* * *

"_BREAKING NEWS! ALERT – HEAD HONCHO PASSES WAY"_

Believe or not, this was the first thing we all awoke to in the morning. With our stifled yawns, we made our way to the breakfast counter where Ruka instructed us to eat the meals he'd prepared for us. He nodded towards the Television screen. I took particular notice that he was evading eye contact with me at all cost.

Nonetheless, a picturesque woman with a silver microphone spoke clearly about the imminent news.

"Amélie Bilodeaux passes away at the tender age of fifty-years-old. The owner of the successful Hotel chain, _Le Rêve,_was reported to have died of lung cancer early this summer. Her death and funeral have been privately held at –"

"Wait." interrupted Yuu who made the connection, "Ruka…your mom…"

Sumire stopped filing her nails and looked up sharply. Nonoko started sobbing lightly and Yuu took her hand into his.

"It's just, even though I don't know her, it was your mom Ruka. I'm so sorry." Nonoko had her handkerchief pressed to her eyes, while Sumire and Yuu worked at consoling her. She was the most emotionally vulnerable out of all of us. Her parents abandoned her at the Gakuen Alice since she was born. As she got older, she nearly spent all the holidays inside the academy while the other kids went home to their respective families. Having Anna's family take her in during those hard times was why Nonoko treasured her friendship with Anna so much.

Natsume and I sat motionless. From the peripheral of my vision, I could see his jawline tense and his red eyes flashing with an emotion I could not read.

Ruka looked at me, and when I made eye contact with him, I felt a jolt like his eyes were staring into my soul. Then his gaze moved over to Natsume and his face hardened. Natsume stared back with stoic eyes. All in all, their eyes were doing the talking.

Yuu prodded them "You guys, is everything okay between you too?"

Ruka laughed and stood up abruptly, "I have an announcement to make." Ruka said suddenly, "it's about my feelings for-"

"LUNA KOIZUMI HERE!" and with a loud _bang_ the oak doors flew open revealing a girl with short strawberry blonde hair and a beret snugly fit on her head.

Upon seeing Ruka, she squealed annoyingly, "KYAAA~ Ruka-pyon!" She yelled ecstatically.

Natsume stood up as well and glared at Ruka and then at Luna, but it seemed to have no effect on her, "What the-" but before he could finish, Luna had slammed past him in order to get to Ruka. Natsume growled.

"Ah…Koizumi-san, great timing…like always." Ruka smiled awkwardly, rubbing his head.

"You know it!" The ecstatic girl replied. And then what she did next shocked all of us. She reached up, and wound her arms around Ruka's neck and planted a heavy kiss on his lips. Who did this girl think she was!? …Okay, never mind, why do I even care who Ruka gets on with?

"Oh my God!" Sumire gasped, "Please tell me that's a casual Parisian greeting?"

Luna laughed and twisted her hair playfully with a casual arm around Ruka's waist.

Natsume snorted, his eyes lighting with amusement.

Ruka composed himself after the kiss. His eyes were wide with disbelief and he nervously looked at me. I looked away. The volume of the television seemed to drown out our conversations.

"Nevertheless" the same woman from before with a thick French accent was saying, "once tragedy strikes, happiness should ensue. Bilodeaux leaves behind a son, Ruka Nogi, who will become the sole heir to _Le Rêve._The young heir will join hands with Luna Koizumi, an arrangement that seeks to fortify Koizumi Incorporated and _Le Rêve_ Hotel chain…"

"YOU'RE ENGAGED?" practically all of us asked, dubious.

Ruka rubbed his hair, "Well, not exactly, I mean we haven't proposed and I've only seen her like twice…"

Luna slapped his shoulder lightly, "Ruka-pyon! We spent a whole evening together! Don't act like were strangers!"

Ruka looked at her "How did you even…find me?"

She smiled cutely, and her cold blue eyes lit up "Jinno-sensei brought me here!"

"My uncle…I should'be kno-"

And then a tall, tanned man appeared between the oak doorways. He was gasping, with his hands on his news.

"Sorry, Ruka-kun" _huff, huff,_"-tried to stop her."

Natsume had his arms twined behind his head and he yawned. "This just keeps getting weirder and weirder" and then he looked at me "like you."

There was a brief silence, like the calm before a storm: everyone burst into a large conversation, it was hard to keep up. Luna was yelling at Ruka for not calling her while Jinno kept apologizing during intervals. From time to time, Jinno had to physically pull Luna back because she was getting too…frisky with Ruka. Sumire and Nonoko were talking about what they'd heard on the news while Yuu and Natsume were having a contest to see who could drink as many glasses of milk non-stop. And I? I was unintentionally watching Ruka's playful smile as he spoke to Luna, like they'd known each other all their lives.

"Ouch!" I squealed in the midst of the commotion.

"Cheer up, polka-dots" he said, bending to pick up the strawberry he threw at my head. "Why so glum, chum?"

I snorted, "I could ask the same of you"

"I'm not the one looking so dead like we just finished _Romeo and Juliet_ in class."

I laughed, those were horrible times in English class. I cannot stress how utterly _horrible_reading Shakespeare was. "Touché" I said, "is that even a French word?"

Natsume's grinned, "Mademoiselle," he paused dramatically, "I believe so." and he patted my back like Narumi-sensei would do when we got a question correct in class. "You're not so bad to talk to, polka."

"Not as weird you mean?" I knew I was wading into a risky conversation, but you know what they say: Y.O.L.O.

Natsume's grin grew broader and suddenly, he looked like a normal teenager goofing around with friends. "Touché"

* * *

**A/N:**Sorry for the delay, I hadn't written in so long that when I realized I hadn't updated in so a long, I felt it was only right to publish the "pre-mature" fifth chapter. This chapter has been sitting on my computer unbeknownst to me until I stumble upon it a couple of days ago and then it hit me…I was in the middle of writing a fanfic right?


	7. Natsume's Midnight Rendezvous

**The Summer Everything Changed**

○•○

By: AK

* * *

I woke up in the middle of night, sweating. My body felt tense and I realized that I was gripping my bed sheets a little too tightly. Something was not right. It was obvious I had a nightmare because of the sensations that I was feeling just moments before. The effects of the adrenaline rush was still subsiding, but my heart was pounding strongly against my chest.I reminded myself to breath. _Breath, Mikan,_ _breath... __**  
**_Only when my breaths evened out did I let out an exasperated sigh. How many nights had I awoken in fear? These nightmares, or whatever they were, only annoyed me because I could never remember them. It was funny to think: forgettable nightmares.

_Let's see I remember a couple of vauge shadows_...but that was all I could recall into memory. Everything dissipated into thin air. I was a hopeless case. If I couldn't remember my nightmares, then my insomnia would definitely be incurable if I couldn't even cure it myself.

I was in my camisole sitting eerily still on my bed, gazing at particularly nothing. The room's environment had become particularly familiar to me by this time, and I reached over the bed to grab a cup of water sitting idly on my wooden desk. I gulped water down greedily, quenching my thirst and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. It amazed me how much that one drink helped me calm down. I was no longer shaking but nor would I be able to fall back to sleep in a while. Great. Insomnia wins again.

Deciding to try to get my crazily active mind onto more soothing thoughts, I scooted out of bed. _I should do something boring, they say that helps..._

I went to my room to try my luck at writing a letter to Hotaru. With pen in hand, I scrawled on the paper aimlessly:

_**Hotaru. Can't sleep. Miss you. Not the same. So many things to tell you.**_

_Wow. I am one eloquent person, _I thought to myself.

Suddenly my senses perked up and the atmosphere grew frigid. My room was eerily quiet. Too quiet, like they are in horror movies.

And then I remembered my dream. The blurring cloud that was preventing me from remembering, lifted. I dreamt that someone grabbed me from behind...and...and tried to choke me. I remembered thrashing and trying to call for help and then...Fear shot up my spine, and my pupils dilated into big hazel orbs.

I started to get goosebumps. _I must go back to bed. _I slid the chair to rise when I heard a crack behind me. Silence. I was getting chills all over, it can't be anything it was j-

"AHHHHH-!" A hand clamped over my mouth and I grew frantic. My mind was spinning; my body thrashing wildly in all directions. My dream was not an illusion, it was a premonition and that became clear.

I bit, I lurched around violently but the hand was firm yet gentle. But my only instinct was telling me to scream to get help to-

My thoughts were interrupted. "Shut up Polka. It's just me!" The voice hissed authoritatively.

It had a been a few seconds now, and there had been no sound as I struggled against the perpetrator. We stood there awkwardly, my senses telling me to keep caution

My heart was pounding, and this time it pounded for genuine fear.

"I'm going to release you but whatever you do, don't open that big mouth of yours."

Tears stung my eyes when I recognized his voice. I was a little confused but I acquiesced until Natsume's grip also loosened. I stopped struggling and instead gathered up my remaining energy and slapped him across the face when I had the chance. _Slap._

"What the hell do you think you're doing Hyuuga!" I snarled back venomously.

The sound of the slap echoed across the room. I didn't know why I should be quiet when I deserved the right to yell my head off at this point. Even by law, Natsume had gone too far. By now I had a million thoughts rushing through my head. Why was he here? but first of all, _how_ did he even get into my room?

I couldn't see his face very well against the moonlight but he held his hand to his cheek and said, "I guess I deserved that."

I looked at him defiantly, nodding, "Ya think?"

He looked at me with the lack of ferocity that was usually in his eyes and plopped himself on my bed.

"Mind if I sleep here?" he said, already puffing out the pillows and covering himself under the coverings. I was turned away so he couldn't see my tear stained face

His lack of an apology and explanation disturbed me. He chose to stay an enigma. At this point, I had reached my boiling point. I walked over the side of the bed where he lay and threw the bed covers to the floor.

"No, get out. I don't know what stupid joke this was and you've had your fun scaring the living shit out of me." I waited for him to move, and when he didn't I added, "You've developed quite a habit of trying suffocating innocent young girls while they're living life in peace."

He looked at my face and frowned. Then, he did something that shocked me. He rose from my bed and laced his arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace. I didn't even try to fight it. I just sobbed lightly into his fresh-smelling shirt. "I'm sorry Mikan, I went too far."

I stopped sobbing, moved by his words. And then I realized what we were doing and pushed him away. I was angry actual. He comes into my room, scares me shitless and then…tries to hug me? Who was this guy?

I looked back at him. Despite the darkness covering most of his face, I could see he was hurt. I couldn't bear the tension that was growing in the room and decided to change it back to normal. Normal as in both of us arguing, no one ever winning.

"I'll hold the door for you on your way out." I said, steeling myself to face him.

He thought for a second, realizing what I was trying to do. He nodded as if is understood the underlying meanings of my words, "I won't bother you." And then he was back to King Natsume, smug and with a cruel smile to match his personality. It was as if nothing had ever happened.

I delivered my words with a distinct edge for my distaste of him but he continued to smirk complacently. I looked down on him now, fully assessing the situation. In my haste to evacuate the perpetrator, I failed to notice that Natsume was only wearing his boxers and a flimsy shirt. I blushed, thankful that the darkness would conceal my awkward expression. Most girls would kill for such an opportunity to be alone, in the dark, with the sexy Natsume Hyuuga. But then again, I reminded myself that I was not like most girls.

"How did you get in here any ways?" I asked when everything calmed down.

He yawned. "The window balcony."

I looked over to the window and saw that he was right. It was open, and I didn't open it. I gaped at him. "You- you mean that you _climbed _from your room to my balcony!?"

"Shhh. And how else could I do it?" he asked cockily.

He was honestly stupid, and I told him that. "Why couldn't you just use the door like _normal_ human beings. That's what a door was made for."

"Couldn't. Too conspicuous. Plus Yuu has ultra hearing powers and would've investigated with that curiosity of his…" He yawned again, "Honestly, his curiousity will get the best of him one day."

"And your recklessness will get you even faster! What are you thinking? Honestly, you're insane! What was so important to risk your _life_ and startling me to death?" Words tumbled out my mouth. Once I started I couldn't stop.

He chuckled to himself. "You're alive aren't you?"

I honestly could not believe the nerve of him.

He sat up on the bed, still unaware of how uncomfortable he was making me feel. All this time I could've yelled bloody murder but I didn't. Then I began thinking if it was someone like Ruka who had invaded my room in the middle of the night, would I also not cause a commotion? I was beginning to question myself.

"Hello?" He waved his hand jokingly in front of my face, "You out of your daydream now? Well, good. Look, sorry for the, uhm, barge in. But you don't know what's going in on the room beside me, and believe me, if you've heard the sounds they've been making then you wouldn't wanna sleep in my room tonight too." He spewed.

_What?_ I was still confused. "Okay first of all, can you be a little bit more specific. Stop beating around the bush." Still trying not to look at him. I reached for the covers and threw it over him. I guess Natsume was a bit startled when the sheets were trusted in his face because he grunted and looked at me. I stared back at his startling red eyes until he spoke.

"Luna is in Ruka's room. Which is by the way, adjacent to mine so I can hear everything pretty clearly. And tonight, they're making weird sounds." He paused raising his eyebrows to my shocked expression, "You can interpret for yourself what I mean. But they are any sound but platonic."

I winced at the thought. The fact that Natsume was implying that Ruka and Luna were engaging in sexual activity was unnerving. I didn't think Ruka would engage in anything immoral. He seemed like such a pure spirit at heart.

"It must just be your overactive imagination." I said defensively, rolling my eyes at the absurd thought. "Ruka is not that kind of person." The truth was, I felt extremely hurt. My mind wondered back to the friendly conversations I had with Ruka on the plane. The night I spent with him talking about his mother's death. Actually everything was too much for me right now. I was still trying to figure out how to react to the news that Ruka tried valiantly to hide his mother's condition from all of us, and the fact that his mother was considering an engagement between him and Luna! Then to top it all off, Natsume comes in the middle of the night and scares me shitless. "You heard Ruka, Luna is just a friend and was a potential fiancée."

Natsume posed a dangerous question,"If she were a potential fiancée, then why would Ruka invite her to stay here with us?"

I struggled for words, more so an explanation to answer, "Like I said, they're just friends. And besides, you forget that Luna was the one who imposed herself to stay here. And with Jinno-sensei exhorting Ruka to agree, I mean, no one could decline her at that point."

Natsume shrugged, and tried to supress a cocky grin. "Let's say we take a midnight espionage trip to prove you wrong. What do you say, Polka?"

I rubbed temples, feeling a searing headache come on. "No, I want to sleep for tomorrow. We're finally going on sight seeing of Paris and I refuse to spend my day cranky to help ease your overactive imagination."

His eyes flashed. That was the thing about Natsume, even though the rest of his face was impassive, you could always intuit his emotions just by carefully watching his eyes. By the look of his sparkling eyes, he was determined. Probably determine to prove me wrong.

"This little espionage trip isn't merely for me. More like it's to ease your feelings."

I started to argue.

"Don't try to fool me. I see the way you look at him when you think no one is watching."

I bit my tongue and looked away angrily. I felt exposed, -vulnerable. I felt like the old insecure Mikan who should've died years ago. It was true that the whole Luna and Ruka thing brought me to maddening thoughts. But Ruka assured me later that their relationship was nothing but a friendship to him, and Luna was merely childhood friend who still harbored a childish crush on him.

He leaned towards the edge of the bed and took hold of my shoulder. His countenance was gentle, almost melancholy. "You don't deny it…do you?" He enunciated each word slowly and carefully. He seemed to be searching my face for an answer and I kept my features as stone-like as possible. Although I couldn't define my relationship with Ruka, I wouldn't say I dying hard for his affections like Luna…it was….complicated. I still didn't even know what to make of all the new sensations I was feeling when I was around Ruka…and with Natsume.

I clenched my jaw tightly and balled up my fists where he couldn't see. He was still searching my face attentively, a little too intimidating for my liking. I took a couple of steps back. "What's it to you how I feel about anything anyway?" I said a little too defensively. Because this was my only defense mechanism: becoming a total bitch when situations forced me to be. I didn't like it, and this had always been the sole reason it was hard for me to keep friends. Unlike a normal person, I didn't deal with my problems- I avoided them.

He raised his eyebrows and rested his hands on his chin, clearly not affected by my stinging words, "You're right."

I was at a loss for words. Natsume admitting I was right over him? Well, that's a first. "Erm…"

"I shouldn't care what you do."

"Uh, well yeah, you shouldn't-"

"But I do." He whispered so quietly. So quietly that I thought I heard him wrong.

"What?" I asked, a little unsteadily. I looked at him now. As in, really looked at him. This time it was me searching his penetrating eyes, trying to look past his stoic demeanor and find an inkling of emotion. But his radiant face lost its luminosity once he leaned back into the shadows.

He flipped his hair. He shouldn't be here, after what Ruka said… _Gosh, sometimes you can be so dense. He liked you too._ Ever since that night, a couple of days ago, all of us felt the strain between Natsume and Ruka. Whenever they were around they would joke around and laugh, but we all felt the tension hanging the air whenever one of them turned their backs to each other. Natsume's face would darken, and the muscles on Ruka's body would tense. At those times, nobody would dare say a word. Sumire went so far as to stop filing her nails and browsed her phone instead. But then one of them would break the silence and then they were friends again. It was confusing to watch.

Something obviously happened between them and I felt a little guilty that I wasn't there to stop it. I started to miss their casual banters and the easy way they could make each other smile. It was a little saddening that their beautiful relationship was deteriorating and none of us – not even Yuu, one of their closest friends – could fix it again. It was something they had to deal with on their own.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked. I knew he shouldn't be here. It would be too scandalous for me to be caught dead in the night with him. I thought about what Ruka would say if he saw me right now and felt shame wash all over me.

"I'm fine." For a minute, I thought I saw him scowling but his face was back to normal. He even had his arms laced behind his head casually, and was stretching on my bed as if he owned it. "So if you don't really care about Ruka, why don't we go on our little undercover activities just to prove me wrong?"

**A/N:** Okay, so I had _extreme_ writer's block when trying to write this chapter. It was like all my ideas turned into crap and I would start writing paragraphs eventually deleting them all...*sigh* Anyways, thanks for reading :) and reviews are much appreciated!

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Thanks to **TophFan, Backlash29, Kearstyn and Kazeiri** who reviewed :p


	8. Everyone's Misunderstanding

**The Summer Everything Changed**

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"I feel stupid for doing this." I had an ominous feeling about how this 'trip' would turn out.

Natsume gave me a reprimanding look and put a finger to his lips, indicating me to hush up. I fought the urge to respond. _Why did I even agree to this?_ We stealthily crossed the path to Yuu's room, a hallway we had to pass in order to get to Ruka's door. Each step we took seemed laborious, and each time we lifted our feet I felt panicky, thinking this could be the step that wakes everybody up from their beds with flashlights pointed at us accusingly. Great. Now it was my imagination that was overreacting.

"Polka, you can stop walking like were on top of broken glass, we're almost there."

I breathed a sigh of relief. True enough, I saw Ruka's plain door in my view. From where we were, I heard nothing, there were no sounds. It lead me to believe Natsume had tricked me.

Natsume was in front of me, leading the way. He pressed his ear to Ruka's door, and after crouching for a minute of two in deep listening, he motioned for me to follow. I pursed my lips and crouched behind him. I don't like to admit but the scent of his was actually kind of pleasant…like mandarin oranges…

My pulse accelerates involuntarily and I tell myself to calm down but I can't. I can't stop staring at him. So suddenly, I feel guilty. I don't know why but I feel like I've betrayed Ruka even more.

"Come here." Natsume beckons me to crouch down beside him, and urges me to push my ear to the door as well.

I obey mechanically and press my ear to the door. I was greeted by the coldness of the wood against my bare skin.

Slowly but surely, I could make out a couple of words eliciting from the other side.

The voice was familiar – the same soothing voice that could make you fall asleep and believe everything would turn out just right when you woke up. It was unmistakably Ruka.

"Koizumi-san…should I go faster?" came the tentative voice.

A woman replied, a very high-pitched tone. "Ruka, please…don't stop." She was gasping. The woman on the other end was gasping. I knew it was Luna. My face dropped, Natsume stared at me knowingly, almost a pity kind of look stuck in his eyes.

I was addicted to say the least, I just had to find out what they were doing…I just had to stay, even if it scarred me emotionally.

"Polka hey," Natsume whispered quietly, he reached up to touch my downcast face. I didn't even flinch this time.

This felt wrong. Everything felt wrong. Just being here with Natsume listening to something I shouldn't even have heard in the first place. My conscience was screaming at me to leave, but my curiosity was pushing me to stay. But then again, curiosity killed the cat. I gulped.

I moved his hand away gently and met his steady gaze. We were both still crouching but I was rising up from the position to leave, "Natsume, I don't understand you most of the time, but at least I know what I feel." I waved my hand between us, "This. This isn't right, and I'm sorry to disappoint you."

His face went blank with emotion. It was kind of scary. I was turning to walk down the desolate hallway. Back to my room, back to the normalcy of life that I was used to. Back to the ignorance I like to live in.

But then a cold hand caught mine, "No this isn't over."

I looked over my shoulder, startled. Natsume wore a twisted expression and with the darkness shading his face in all the right angles, it was appropriate to say that he looked like the picture of true evil. I gulped hard, "Natsume, let me go." I said nervously.

His grip only tightened to the point where I flinched, "Let me go!" This time I said it more forcefully and a little too loudly, because the commotion inside Ruka's room stopped, and I heard a scuffling footsteps.

I looked around wild-eyed for an escape until my heart plummeted. Ruka opened the door rashly and once his gaze met mine and Natsume's he couldn't resist himself from speaking, "Mikan? Natsume? What are you two doing up so late at night?"

Natsume intervened, "I could say the same for you and Luna."

I couldn't resist myself but I felt so dejected in the moment that I began to cry. Tears rolled down my cheeks and wet my face.

Ruka moved forward, concerned and then his eyes squinted when he saw the crude grip that was Natsume's hand, still wrapped around my wrist. In a split second everything was a blurr, Ruka's body collided with Natsume's and Natsume's back hit the wall. The tears stopped but the flow of tears still ran down my cheek. Ruka leaned in dangerously close into Natsume's face. His big blue eyes were glaring at his opponent's red eyes. "Don't touch her again." Ruka hissed into Natsume's ear.

Luna came out, hair all disheveled with a sheepish expression on her face that turned into shock when she saw the two boys pinned against each other. Ruka looked up threateningly at Natsume who was always just a little bit taller than him. But Ruka wasn't intimidated by size. In fact, from the looks of it, it was Natsume he seemed a little intimidated.

Luna gasped and rushed forward, pulling Natsume aside, when I finally regained my senses and held back the struggling Ruka.

"Mikan, hold Ruka!" Luna commanded. In all other instances I would've slapped her. The hatred and jealousy of her relationship with Ruka irked me. Yet, not was not the time to be controlled by emotions, but by logic.

Of course two girls couldn't retain two angry boys from throwing fists at each other, so I was glad when Yuu appeared out of nowhere at just the right time to step in between them.

By now, everyone was awake. Sumire still yawning, and Nonoko frantically trying to placate the situation by playing peace maker. All in all, everyone was worried and their concerned expressions justified their feelings of unease.

"What the hell were you two doing at this time of the night?" Ruka asked forcefully. He released his grip at Natsume but kept his eye steady on his movements warily.

Natsume was the one who answered for me with a dry voice, "I could say the same to you. We heard noises coming from your room, and we decided to investigate." He said flatly, returning Ruka's glare.

Ruka's face scrunched up in confusion. "Noises…?" He mulled over and raised his eyebrows upon realization of Natsume's sexual implications. "Hold on. If you thought Luna and –" He paused and decided to venture upon a different explanation , "We weren't doing _that!_"

Luna giggled and laced her arms around Ruka who fervently evaded her. She pouted when saw this and remained silent.

Natsume snorted in disbelief. However, my heart lightened at the possibility that maybe it was a big, messy misconception – that Natsume had planted the wrong idea in my mind. Everyone was waiting for Ruka to explain the big mess. All of us were fixated on the blonde haired boy in front of us, curious as to _what_ Luna was doing in his room in the first place. It was scandalous for someone like Ruka, a prestigious young man, and a his ex-fiancé to even be mingling at all. The fact the Ruka had expressed such an overt distaste of Luna in the first place puzzled us all. If that was the case, then why even invite her to stay over? Why have her in your room?

Ruka sighed. He knew what we were all thinking and tried to mollify the accusing glances we were giving him. He dropped his eyes and opened the door to his bedroom, and we all looked in curiously. Natsume was the first whose mouth dropped open. Then all of us sank to our knees in utter speechlessness.

"We were pumping balloons," Ruka explained. "For Natsume's birthday tomorrow. I was actually doing it myself until Koizumi-san, Luna here, offered to help when she bothered me in the middle of the night. I didn't find anything inappropriate with her helping but I guess I should have given the situation a second thought."

The balloons had big, white letters spelling 'CONGRATS TO NATSUME TURNING 17'. Everyone laughed, Yuu slapped his thigh and grinned sheepishly at Natsume who was averting his face from everyone. Yuu gave him a pat on the back, "There, there. It was all just a big misunderstanding. So just apologize and let's all go back to bed and get up early to celebrate." Natsume did as he was told, almost mechanically, and once he apologized he rushed into his bedroom and slammed the door. He didn't even give me a second look.

Yuu bit his lip but smiled nonetheless, his eyes had dark circles around them from lack of sleep. He motioned for the girls to go to sleep. Sumire and Nonoko payed their respects to Ruka and announced that they were once again off to bed.

The corridor, which was suddenly overwhelmed with commotion, was now filled with an eerie silence with just the three of us –Ruka, Luna and I, standing awkwardly around each other, not know what to say. Luna seemed to have enjoyed the anguish that she had caused me as she looped her arm around Ruka possessively. "C'mon Ruka, let's go back and finish – alone." And she gave me a satisfied glance as she said this.

But I didn't care. Her acidic words did nothing but graze my ego. I was still full of hope and dignity that she could never take away from me. My heart slowed down and when I locked eyes with Ruka. I managed to smile faintly, and he smiled back warmly. He came towards me seeing my gentle expression as an invitation for conversation.

"Mikan, I don't know what you thought but Luna and I" He looked at Luna who was watching him attentively and eyeing me suspiciously, "Luna and I have a friendly relationship and nothing more."

My breath hitched. I didn't know how to respond. The brainwashing of Natsume was proven completely false. And here I was, too dumfounded to speak, unable to reassure Ruka and unable to apologize for betraying him. Instead of trusting Ruka, I fell into Natsume's plots to deceive and ultimately, by investigating in the middle of the night, I had shown that I distrusted him.

"No," I shook my head decisively, "It's me who should apologize. I'm sorry for not just trusting you in the first place. I-"

He reached his hand to my face. Just exactly the spot where Natsume's hand had just been. But his hand was different – it was warm and soothing. Before I knew it, Ruka was in front of me, staring down at me with his pensive blue eyes. I almost forgot to breath, being too mesmerized of the clarity of his face. I opened my mouth to speak, and then…

Luna coughed. Ruka snatched his hand away when he realized what he was doing. My features deflated. If only that fleeting moment extended a second – no even a millisecond longer, I would be satisfied. I opened my mouth to speak, to bring some sort of explanation, but all I saw was the door shutting in front of me and Luna's face twisted into a frown.

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The next day we go sight-seeing. It would have been an extremely pleasant experience had it not been for the fact that last night's previous events stirred up trouble. We were heading down the cobblestones of Paris, passing civilians who were lounging under umbrellas in coffee shops, and others who were taking a casual stroll around their familiar neighbourhood.

I had never ventured out of Japan before, and being in a whole different continent like Paris was truly a culture shock. I found myself straining to understand the garble of French sentences that were thrown around me. I had picked up a French dictionary and a couple of language somewhere along our trip and read them furiously with hopes that I might pick up the dialect quickly. Ruka had been teaching me a couple words each morning and night as well, but that had all stopped after what had happened between us last night.

Our group was as complete as it was, plus another unexpected baggage: Luna. She had imposed herself to come and the rest of us felt extremely uneasy around her flamboyant personality. She was holding onto Ruka's arm as if it were a lifeline and stared up into his face endearingly. The way Ruka placidly allowed her to carry on with her advances towards him annoyed me. During the trip, I began to think of myself as Ruka's only interest. I mean, had he not confessed to me himself? Yet he didn't act like it anymore. He barely looked at me during our walk down the crowded streets, and the silence looming over all of us was a little overwhelming.

The only chatter came from Luna, prattling on about her father and how he would absolutely love to have Ruka over sometime to Spain. Spain was where Luna's family was situated. Right in the heart of Madrid.

Sumire didn't talk much during the rest of the trip. Something that anyone would be a little shocked to hear. The chances of Sumire being _not_ obnoxious was like finding lost money on the street everyday – extremely unlikely. But I knew her reasons, she was like the rest of us who was a little affected by last night.

Natsume was looking anywhere but us, and he walked on aloof, head up, with a malicious glint in his eyes. Yuu, Nonoko, Sumire and I felt that uneasy throughout the whole trip as Ruka spoke about various places he had encountered.

"And here is Damian Patissiere, one of the best bakeries I've been going to regularly since I was a kid."

"Yes, I remember that too!" squealed Luna enthusiastically, "Ms. Amélie was so fond-"

Ruka's face hardened at the sound of his mother's name.

"Oh! I – I'm sorry, I meant to say that I also…I liked…" She stopped when Ruka glared at her. A fierce glare that even sent chills down my spine. Luna dropped her hands which were previously encircled around Ruka's arm and prattled on about random subjects, hoping to draw less attention to her blunder.

It must have been late in the afternoon because the sun was sweltering and the vehicles around us were blaring their horns for god knows what.

Yuu covered his ears with his hands and grimaced, "Is it always so noisy in Paris?"

Ruka smirked, "Yes, especially when it is an irritably hot day like this." He said, slapping some flies out of the way. Even in the heat Ruka was still the perfect dazzling image of a prince, old ladies stopped to smile at him and young girls gawked at him unabashed. Natsume, on the other hand, would have usually been the center of attention with his own rightful fan club trailing behind him had not he been so sullen. He was practically scaring any passerby with the lethal looks in his eyes.

While we took a break, sitting on a convenient wooden bench in front of a large tree, Yuu and Ruka tried to decipher a complex-looking map. Natsume, was again, drifting off to the sides, reading a sign dedicated to the city's mayor.

During the short duration we sat, I was surprised as to how close the girls got along. By this point, Sumire, Luna and Nonoko were exchanging phone numbers. I felt like I should join them, but my headached from lack of sleep and I was not in the mood to make polite conversations with a Luna, who I knew hated me to the gut.

"Let's go see the L'Arc de Triomphe." Ruka announced, folding the map that he and Yuu were working so hard on cracking.

The girls groaned, "Walking? More walking? Not in these wedges..."

Natsume's face twisted with laughter, the only emotion besides anger that I saw him display. To him, these girls were just extra baggage, baggage that we should dispose of immediately.

"Well…" Ruka looked to Yuu for any suggestions, but Yuu shook his head.

Luna stood up, "I know. How about we split up? I mean we don't want to go to some stupid building thing, do we?" She looked at Nonoko and Sumire for confirmation, but their faces were hesitant and uncertain. They both looked towards me, wearing pitiful expressions. It was clear that Luna had made it a point not to include me in their plans. But really, I couldn't care less because I wouldn't have gone anyways if invited, and the sun was so hot…

"But what about sight seeing!?" Ruka asked, a little indignant. I knew Ruka liked to have things done the way he planned it, and this definitely was not how he planned it.

Luna continued on as if she had not heard. "C'mon there are these boutiques down the corner that I've been _dying_ to show you two." This was enough to push the girls to agree. They both bobbed their heads.

Yuu looked at Nonoko fleetingly, a needy look passed between them. By now, everyone knew that Yuu and Nonoko had a thing going on but both of them had been too shy to acknowledge it. Luna sensed this and yawned, "Fine. Yuu can come along but he has to be the baggage holder."

Yuu beamed and it looked like he could kiss Luna for giving him this opportunity, but like an obedient puppy, he trotted towards the side of Nonoko and they began an animated chat.

"Really?" Ruka tried in vain to stop them, but their figures were getting smaller and smaller as they walked down the grey stones and turned a corner. Luna waved happily at the last second, obviously excited about what new shops lay in front of her.

And then it was just us three. We had all been so caught up in the moment that none of us realized that all three of us – of all people – had to be alone together. It was bad enough that Ruka and Natsume were barely on speaking terms, but trying to be a mediator through all this was exhausting. I looked at both of them, the complete opposite of each other, yet so alike in so many ways.

Ruka had assumed a casual position and eyed Natsume carefully as if he were about to pull out a knife if he looked away for a second. Natsume stood proud and erect, and looked at Ruka as if he were a fly that he could easily swat.

"So, how about we get going to the L'Arc de Triomphe?" I suggested once I realized the sun would go down soon.

Natsume nodded and Ruka lead the way without another word.

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**A/N:** Writer's block. I hate it. But _that is exactly _ what happens when I attempt to write another chapter. *sigh. Oh well, I guess it's part of the process.

Thanks to the readers and reviewers!


	9. Finale

**A/N: Hollaaaaa. S**

**Whoa Author's note in the beginning: I guess I'm trying something new. Tell me if you feel like the Author's note in the beginning is a bit obtrusive, and ruins your impressions of the chapter and I'll revert back to my old ways and put it in the end. Okay, so where to begin? I originally planned this story to be longer, like 15 chapters long. But I guess I'm going to end it here. Why? Because along the way somewhere, I was running out of ideas -*ahem* motivation – Seriously speaking though, I didn't think throwing in some random – and probably awkward – new events would add anymore to the story than it already had. In a way, I don't want to upset anyone because the ending was a little rushed, tell me otherwise? Forgive me if you feel that way. **

**So, my fair, fair, fantastical readers, thank you for putting up with my crazy ideas that some of you may call 'creativity' because really, the fact you guys made it this far into the story means that you can weed out significance in the nonsensical jargon I write. You all deserve a medal/trophy/reward of some sort. But sadly, all I can offer you is my appreciation and, I guess, a virtual hug. *hugs readers in suffocating grip***

**So this is the feeling of finally completing a story…**

**Cheers, and happy readings.**

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**The Summer Everything Changed**

_By: Erylle_

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There was just the three of us. Three teenagers walking down a lonely path. Nothing wrong with that. Yet, it was an awkward sight to see well-behaved teenagers at such times. Paris was used to the rambunctious youths that constantly prowled the streets past their curfews. You know, the ones that did drugs behind stores and loitered around public places until they had to be forcefully evicted.

We were just humble kids with troubled relationships trying to find the L'Arc de Triomphe. And maybe along the way, we'd find peace and answers to the feelings of turmoil we were experiencing. Once in a while, Natsume would mumble something incoherently and then relapse into the chilling silence he's been in since the moment we took off. I hated to say it but I actually missed his caustic remarks, his confident grin, everything. Especially the way he would say my name with that sardonic grin of his that made me want to smack him silly. This new, silent-guy-Natsume was definitely not the person that I grew to like over the course of the few weeks.

Ruka was a little queer in his own way. He had a tendency to flutter his eyes over to Natsume like a stray kitten, and then batter them away when he stared too long. It was like he was lost without any direction, and his logical reasoning began to wear thin. It was obvious that Natsume had become an important part of him. That he was so dependent on his best friend, that without him, he could not figure out how to live anymore. Ever since his mother died, Ruka found consolation best with Natsume. I couldn't blame him. Natsume seemed to understand best. He was like the older brother Ruka never had.

Despite Natsume's hard-rock personality, I could always make out the faintest underlying kindness in his impassive mask. In fact, I only saw this side of him when he was tending to Ruka. To anyone else, his eyes seemed to glaze over with fury.

I looked between them. Walking side by side, with me in the middle. It became clear that I had become the divider. I was the one who came in between them. I was the unwanted wedge. I swallowed hard, and bit my lip. I liked the pain that came with it: it was like justified pain, pain that I deserved finally inflicted. I hated myself for doing this to such a lovely relationship. All because I had been indecisive and foolish enough not to hold my ground on conviction. I would have given anything to fill the void I created between them. But I didn't have much to offer except the clothes off my back.

"Well, I guess we can just follow the crowd." Ruka was leading the way for the longest time. We had gotten lost multiple times and resorted to just 'going with the flow' as Ruka stated. In other words, we just followed the crowed after we found out most of the tourists had the same destination. I didn't know what time it was but it was late enough for the streetlights to be turned on. The gas powered streetlights flickered intermittently, casting hazy shadows on the cobblestone paths we were treading upon. The vendors of various food assortments had closed down their shops, and their carts were dark and gloomy in the corners of the streets. I liked this time of day in Paris. It had the soft breeze I loved because it tickled my skin just enough for me to let out sighs of pleasure.

We were lost in a sea of red, blue and white shirts. Tourists who thought it would be fun to wear colors of the French flag. Yuck. I saw a family of tourists passing by sealing the gag-me deal with their ostentatious berets, forced French accents and their feigned air of refined breeding. Ruka told me that tourists like those need to be evicted from Europe themselves and should be sent back to America. I asked him why he thought all kinds of gag-me tourists were American once.

"Because, only American's have the gall to think they can be made into a culture. But you can't. You're born into it. You can only learn it but you can never truly be French no matter how many years you've lived here."

I asked him about immigrants and how they must have lived their whole lives in France, didn't they count?

"That's a whole different ball game."

I smirked. Ruka had a funny manner of speaking. I found it endearing, much to my chagrin.

When we finally found the L'Arc de Triomphe, I felt its sublime aura overwhelm me. I was so miniscule in comparison to such a gigantic figure of a building. It was more than a building, actually. It was art. A great big piece of stone art. I was enraptured with every detail, every etching into the stone. The angled that flanked the sides, the jutting stones that surrounded the top, it was all magnificent. It must have taken a master craftsman to create such images and patterns on the stone. The images were too ornate, too complex and convoluted to describe in words. It was simply…breathtaking.

Natsume and Ruka felt it too, despite the fact that Ruka had seen the arc multiple times on several different occasions. But it never failed to captivate him as well. Beauty knows no limits of awe-inspiring greatness.

It was the first time I even heard Natsume utter a single word. He placed his hand on the stone, with his palms stretched so that there was an even amount of space between each of his fingers.

"So this is the famous Arc of Paris."

Ruka replied, "Yes, and it deserves all its fame."

I thought back to Sumire and Nonoko. Wondering if they regretted their hasty choice to abandon ship and take a leave with Luna. Did they know what they were missing? Would they have been so awe-struck as we were? In the end, they had made their choice to trade true inspiration for fleeting gratification. Ruka, Natsume and I had made our own decisions that we didn't regret.

We were under the arc, inside the shadows, hidden from the outside world. I liked the protection it gave us. There weren't many people who came to visit the arc, and only handful of tourists stayed. Most of them were taking pictures, minding their own businesses so it was as if we had the Arc to ourselves to claim.

And then suddenly, as if to ruin such a sacred moment…"I'm sorry Ruka, for accusing you of have sex with Luna in the middle of the night."

I was flabbergasted at Natsume: to outright come out and say, so, so…bluntly was…aggravating. He just stood there, his swarthy face gentle and kind. And even more so, Ruka didn't flinch or recoil. He didn't even seem the least bothered by the bare apology. In fact, he seemed appeased to hear the words coming out of Natsume's own mouth.

"I should be apologizing for trying to provoke you. Let's never do have petty arguments again." Ruka grabbed the hand that Natsume extended towards him. And with a shake, it seemed as if their truce had been finally been agreed upon. That was it. No petty scuffles that you expect to see in movies, nor were any fists thrown nor was violence a factor in the resolution. Just a plain old, underrated apology that was anything but heroic nor heartwrenching.

Natsume used the silence to look over his shoulder, and caught my eye. I raised my own eyes to meet his, my legs quivering slightly albeit I don't know why. I wasn't afraid of him like he used to make me. I wasn't madly in love with him that the sight of him left me feeling vertigo. I guess in a way I had already stood my ground with him these past couple of days and gained the confidence to hold my head up high.

"No girl is worth losing my friendship with Ruka."

I attempt to bunt this remark off by casually joking, "Yeah, I agree with you, Luna isn't much of a catch."

Natsume frowns. He knows I'm not being serious. But I know he's referring to me, and my evasive tactic did nothing to help lighten the mood. He doesn't give me a second glance, as if I'm not worthy of his view. He returns his gaze back to the startled Ruka, whose blonde hair begins to ruffle in the soft sway of the breeze.

It is getting a bit darker now and the people who were with us are now retiring into their homes, or in most cases, into their hotels. The gas-powered lights begin to flicker strangely, and the dirt under us looks creepy. I begin to get chills and curse myself silently for not wearing something cozier. The only protection I have from the dropping temperatures is my light sweater and blue scarf that is merely worn for aesthetic purposes, and does nothing to protect my face from the harsh gales of the night.

Ruka wavers in footing a little, and places his right foot in front of his left. He knows Natsume wants to hear his input on his statement about their relationship but Ruka doesn't utter a word, and this distresses Natsume further.

"Right, Ruka? Just you and me buddy, we've been through everything together. Like your mother…Ruka, God, remember when you first told me. I was the first one to know. I was there for you. I love you like the brother I never had. It's killing me that – that this girl," He points to me, "-is breaking us apart. We're more than that. We don't need her Ruka; we have each other. I don't know about you, but for me, this is enough."

For a minute, I consider agreeing with Natsume. _I'm not worth it,_ my mind shouts over and over like a broken record. But Ruka keeps his gaze steady on mine and looks back to Natsume's imploring face. Ruka's gentle eyes close and he breathed heavily, I could see his breath as he exhaled the cold air.

It occurs to me that all this time I haven't uttered a single word as well. Maybe I'm afraid. I tell myself that I don't want to make things worse by getting involved. Later, I wonder if I made this excuse to myself to cover up my cowardice, my lack of gumption, my weakness.

Ruka places his hand on the cool stone of the Arc and looks at it wistfully while Natsume and I wait for him solemnly. I could stand there forever watching the tendrils of his blonde hair swaying in the breeze.

"I never took risks in my life but you were the one who always encouraged me to do it, Natsume." Ruka says after a lengthy pause.

This conversation is not really about me, although I seem to be their main topic. I am just the surface. Beneath me are suppressed feelings that are finally breaking their confines. This never was a battle for me, it was a battle between two best friends and I was merely the observer, the referee, the rulemaker, the overseer – whatever you call it nowadays.

"We must be heading back," I say, worried that the tension would not recede. I don't like the gloomy atmosphere, the depressing stares and worn out souls around me. I want to go home. Not back to Ruka's hotel, but where Hotaru and Ji-chan are. I can't believe I am going to admit this, but I wish I was back in Gakuen Alice. "The others will be worried and Sumire can't call us since none of us brought a cellphone."

My evasive tactics don't work and the boys end up glaring me with deathly eyes: sapphire blue and garnet red. _They are the opposite of one another_, I think, _like water and fire_, _beautiful and dangerous at the same time._ I back off, giving them some space to talk and I consider walking down the dirt path and back again to allow them to have some needed privacy. Clearly, I have no place in such a conversation. _This was never about me,_ I repeat.

But something in the forlorn looks of their faces pulls me back. Like they need me because I am their anchor to reality. Something substantial that they can count on. I don't think I can live up to their expectations.

"Natsume, you were the first to understand me, but I don't want you to be the last. I'm tired of closing myself off from the world. Locking my heart away for no one. You're right, for the longest time its just been you and me and happiness…-"

"Ruka, please don't throw it all away." Natsume's voice wavers slightly. I have never heard him like this before: woe begotten.

"You're my friend – no, more – you're my _best_ friend. I can't deny the unfailing trust you've shown me. I can't deny the endless nights you've spent comforting me. But there's only so much – only so far friends can go with each other. I believe in friendship and God strike me down for this cheesiness, but I believe in true love too. I love Mikan. I always have and I don't want to promise forever, but I can promise more and more days of rising suns." Ruka makes it crystal clear. He has chosen me over Natsume. Love over friendship.

"You have chosen your path and I have chosen mine. It's a shame we can no longer venture on the same path together." Natsume recedes into the shadows, he seems to understand, and he saunters off giving Ruka a pensive look but then he is gone. One gangly limb after another disappearing around a corner I don't know how he felt or what he thought, I could only say that he looked whole, like a cracked mirror glued back together again.

Minutes go by and I can see my breath forming in the cold air, I don't even try to bury my face further into the scarf. It is so hot from the blood rushing to my face that I swear I looked like a tomato. No one has ever declared their love for me. And this was certainly not how I imagined myself to look (average), much less react! I was supposed to be at a ball, with a wonderful dress on and my hair! Everything was supposed to be fairyt tale-like: passionately sharing a kiss under the moon or some shit. But this isn't a fairy tale. This is reality. The bleak, take-it-or-leave-it events of some sorts that we call life.

Once Natsume is fully out of sight something changes between the small steps of space between us. Under the Arc, I feel safe. I feel like I have power. My feet move on their own, as if compelled forward by some supernatural force, but I know I move them with my own will power. Before I know it I am jumping into Ruka's arms and he is there, a grin on his face, and arms thrown wide open to catch me.

I land on him, the force of the jump throwing Ruka down to the ground. I am on top of him now and his hands lay softly on my thighs. I wear black leggings so the warmth of his hands seethes right through my skin. I laugh and he throws his head back in laughter that matches mine. We are all alone now, just hysterical kids laughing at their crazy antics.

_Is this the part where I confess?_ I question myself quickly. No. It doesn't feel right. I know Ruka is waiting for me to return my declaration of love back as well. But I do not. Instead I show him. I show him by leaning down and watch as his face widens in shock as he realizes what I'm doing. He opens his mouth to protest but it is too late – my mouth slams his before he can make a sound. I feel giddy and try to reach out to gather some breath, but Ruka's hands on my thighs tighten me in place. He wants this moment to last forever. I comply.

○•○

_A Letter from Mikan to Hotaru_

_August, when leaves turn green and apples fall from trees_

_To my dearest Hotaru, _

_I hope your summer days are treating you well. But I know you too well and I bet you're working on a new robot while you're reading this letter. Hotaru, you gotta relax sometime you're letting yourself waste away on inventions that are fruitless. I guess not fruitless in the pursuit of scientific discovery, but you are letting your relationships deteriorate and although you don't see it now, a lot of people love you and don't like how you're pushing them away. People like me. I don't want to patronize you but, oh, Hotaru, so many things have happened that I could never dream of without you by my side and I just wish you were here with me to share my happiness, laughter, tears and – and, just everything!_

_Hotaru, I always valued our friendship above my own life sometimes. To be your friend was the best gift I was ever blessed with. I never knew what I did to deserve you uncondonditional trust. I leaned on you for support and drew my courage from your own strength. Without you, I am weak. I am defenseless. I have nothing. I centred my life around you because I felt that you were the one who could save me from myself. You were always so brave. But now I realize that no one can do that but me. _

_Hotaru, you remember Ruka right? Well, how could you forget? He was your first love once too. Remember the times we stayed up late talking about our loved ones, our dreams, our romantic interests that we soon got over. We're dating, Hotaru. Ruka Nogi and yours truly are in a relationship. Although it's not perfect, we're getting over the obstacles. More specifically, I'm trying to get over my own insecurity. Being with Ruka requires me to be more bold; boldness that I don't think my quiet personality will allow. But I know I've had it in me all along because you taught me. The best teacher in the world taught me in ways only a friend could. That is the secret to my newfound strength. _

_Hotaru, Ruka was your first love. Do you still love him? I can hear you in my head pointing your baka gun at me and firing away. I only ask because I want to make sure. I know you don't. It was just a childhood crush that faded away once you laid your hands on gadgets. I don't want to hurt your feelings if you do, but if you still love him, I don't think I could part with him. Even for my best friend. _

_In a way Hotaru, I wanted a happing ending with Ruka. I so did. Didn't Cinderalla get one? But happy endings are never guaranteed in reality, and that's what's scary. The uncertainty of the future scares me, Hotaru. You aren't here with me. I have to face this alone whether I want to or not._

_I am imagining the first encounter we have when I return in the next few weeks. I'll land from the plane and you'll engulf me in your warm embrace. I know I'll bury my head in your shoulder and cry. I have so much to tell you personally…Hotaru, I want to say I miss you, but…when you rejected the offer to come to Paris, I think you gave me the best gift of all. You taught me to be independent and I'm slowly getting there. It's all thanks to your help, whether you intended it or not. _

_Like I said I wanted a happy ending. But now I am looking forward to this uncertain future. I am relishing each mistake I make, each benign fight I have with Ruka, because everything is all so new and foreign to me. It's exciting. Somehow my happiness always flowed from you, but you've taught to me create my own happiness and now it won't ever stop flowing…_


End file.
